The way to manage your job hunt stress is to develop a strategy.
- Determine your goals and job targets.
- Have an action plan and implement it with discipline and perseverance.
- Track down job leads through effective networking.
- Develop the confidence to sell yourself and your skills and attributes at the interviews.
In this economy, a job hunt can be a frustrating process. I know because I am going through it right now myself. That's when a positive mental attitude and a healthy self-esteem are crucial.
Using my own advice, I have just been successful in finding myself a new position, as Director, Planning and Priorities at the Department of Human Resources and Skills Development Canada. I attribute my success to a lot of factors:
- Setting clear and smart goals
- Having a positive mental attitude and perseverance
- Being coached and mentored
- Having supportive networks
- Having my family and friends solidly behind me.
Good luck to all who are still looking for a new job.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Get hired in the competitive job market
GET HIRED IN THE COMPETITIVE JOB MARKET
One of the most important decisions you will make in your adult life is choosing a job that meets your interests and expectations. You need to know what you like to do, what your interests are and what skills and knowledge you have. The art of finding a job is knowing how to sell yourself by using what you have to your best advantage.
During the last decade, the job market has changed radically. On one hand, people are not content to stick to a job for a long time and are moving around from job to job. On the other hand, organizations are always reengineering and as a consequence there are more people being laid off. By now, most of us realize that a cradle-to-grave job is out the window along with regular raises. Approximately one quarter to one third of all jobs are in transition. The average worker can expect to change jobs six to ten times and careers two to four times. It seems that jobs are disappearing faster than new jobs are being created. There may be a shortage of jobs, but there is always an abundance of work to be done and therefore lots of opportunities. Although the unemployment rate is relatively high, there is still plenty of opportunities for people with the right attitude, entrepreneurial spirit and the willingness to contribute to get hired. If your job isn't giving you the satisfaction you are looking for, it's time to invest a few hours reflecting on what would bring you more fulfillment. Even if you are comfortable with your work, when an opportunity presents itself you could still move on to do something even more interesting and challenging. Look for opportunities and take them as they arise.
In planning your career, you need to have a clear idea of the sort of job you would like to do. Do you like to use your hands to make things? Are you a self-starter with lots of initiatives and enterpreneurial spirit? Do you like to work with people? Do you like investigative work and to deliver high quality products? Whatever your preference, you need to know it. If you have difficulty in making decisions about your career choice, talk to a friend, spouse, mentor or career counselor. Find out what the growth industries are out there. Presently, there is a great demand for nurses and post traumatic stress counselors in North America. Technology and computer companies are still growing and hiring. If you are interested in a career in technology for example, use every opportunity to build a foundation to make your way in the technology-infused world.
Set realistic targets and work toward them with a positive attitude, discipline and enthusiasm. As you get to know more about your job and gain experience, you can begin to plan further ahead. In your early years, you must be prepared to move around to learn and gain experience, as well as to take more than you think you can handle. Be prepared to change your plans if necessary and be flexible in your attitude. Gain confidence by doing your work, whatever it is, to the best of your ability and believe in yourself. Your perseverance in looking for the right job and determination to keep going until you achieve your goal will make the difference between finding a job or not.
More and more organizations are looking for the right people at the right time with the right skills and right culture fit. Nowadays, organizations are likely to base hiring decisions more on skills than on past job titles. Many technical skills become obsolete with progress in technology. Organizations of the future will need people with generalist skills. Employers are seeking people with the following generic skills:
· the ability to take responsibility;
· the ability to communicate and to manage information;
· the ability to learn continuously and think critically;
· the ability to solve problems analytically and make decisions;
· the ability to direct teams, motivate others and meet objectives;
· the ability to work on a team to plan and accomplish goals;
· the ability to design, plan, research and investigate;
· the ability to set priorities and meet deadlines;
Employers are seeking people with the following qualities:
· positive attitude;
· self-confidence;
· willingness to accept challenges;
· adaptability and flexibility;
In short it is very competitive out there and you need to sharpen your skills, competencies and qualities to market yourself and get hired. It is important that you ask yourself if you are achieving the goals you really want and if you are doing the things necessary to become your best in your chosen profession. Self-analysis is needed on a regular basis to evaluate whether your performance and skills measure up to your own standard and the organization's needs. The core competencies that are always in demand include such skills as leadership, communication, problem-solving, analytical and strategic thinking, negotiating, planning and organizing. Being competent is more than simply acquiring a skill, knowledge or experience, it is using and applying them in your workplace to your advantage in order to meet your business needs. You have to develop the creative thinking ability to see the desired goal and plot a course to get from here to there. Strength in these core competencies gives you an edge over competitors and makes you a desirable asset for any organization.
Before you can gain experience and have a chance to contribute in a job, you have to get one first. This takes time, energy and perseverance, but there are techniques and strategies that can give you a head start. The following list of suggestions may be useful if you are looking for a job.
1. Set your job targets. Determine and specify what types of jobs you want and the salary you expect to earn. List your most important job target criteria: what you need and what you want. Be realistic and stay flexible. Formulate your job targets to take advantage of your skills, past experience and qualities.
2. Have an action plan. Make a list of companies you are interested in and any other potential employers. Make a list of contacts and network effectively. Establish a job search routine. Make a schedule of tasks: phoning contacts to establish leads only, not to ask for jobs.
3. Track down job leads. Track down all job leads that are of interest to you or have potential. The more obvious ones are: career section in newspapers, magazines, personnel agencies and recruiters. The best sources of job leads are friends, colleagues, ex-colleagues and relatives.
4. Prepare yourself well. Research the field and companies you are targeting thoroughly using libraries and other available resources. Classify your job target criteria into requirement and preference. Prepare and update your résumé. Practise your job hunting techniques with the companies at the bottom of your preference list. This gives you an opportunity to sharpen your skills on the job leads that you are least interested in. If you succeed in getting a job right away, you may consider it as a temporary job until you get a better one.
5. Focus your effort on your best prospects. Customize your résumé for the job leads that interest you most. Make it appealing to your potential employers by showing you in the best possible light. Ask a competent person to evaluate it for objectivity. Emphasize your education, strengths, accomplishments and work experience that you anticipate they are looking for. Find out who is the person who has the authority to make you an offer. Send your résumé directly to him or her with a copy to the personnel manager. Get as many interviews as you can.
6. Develop the ability to sell yourself. Know your strengths and weaknesses. A positive attitude, enthusiasm and resourcefulness are good selling points in the job stakes. Relate your qualifications, experience, skills and qualities to the needs and relevance of your potential employers. Put yourself in the shoes of the employer looking to fill a job.
7. Prepare yourself for the interviews. Research and learn as much about your potential employers including their products and services, their strengths and weaknesses, and their needs and expectations. Prepare yourself for interviews by rehearsing some specific questions you are likely to be asked. Anticipate the needs of your potential employer and be prepared to relate your strengths, skills, accomplishments and experience to their needs and expectations. Have a list of carefully chosen references available if asked.
8. Sell yourself at the interview. Win the interview performance by selling yourself. Create an immediate rapport and connection with the interviewer(s) by providing good first impressions like a firm handshake, making eye contact when speaking and listening, and appearing relaxed and confident. The easiest way to sell yourself is to convey your passion for what you do. Highlight your experience, skills, strengths and accomplishments that are important to the interviewer(s). Convince your interviewer(s) that you can and are willing to do the job, and can fit in with the company's organization and their corporate culture.
9. Believe in yourself. Whatever the outcome of the interview, have faith and confidence that you will get hired and achieve what you want. If you have a disappointment, try to keep up your morale and spirit. Ask for some constructive feedback and keep going. Never give up. There is nothing to it but to do it, one contact at a time, one interview at a time. If you are made an offer, negotiate for your needs and requirements, again be reasonable and flexible. Accept or refuse any offer gracefully and respectfully in writing. Do not burn any bridges.
Looking for a job is a tough and stressful commitment. To be successful in today's competitive job market, you need to think of yourself as a small business owner who is offering your core competencies and skills. Identify your potential employers and develop an effective business and marketing plan to sell your knowledge and services. Employers are seeking individuals who can be part of their solution and contribute their bottom line. You must be able to convince them that you can add value to their business. Look constantly for ways of matching your skills to solve the employer's problems. View yourself as a solution-oriented entrepreneur by stating clearly what you can do to assist each potential employer. Your success depends on your ability to understand the employer's wants and needs and convince him or her that you will be an asset who can fill the needs.
The advice outlined above has been used successfully in the past by myself and others. Depending on your own circumstances, you have to determine whether they are applicable to you and put them into practice accordingly. Incorporate some of the best job-hunting advice and suggestions in your own present or future job searching strategy. Good luck!
Extract from my book: Become your best.
www.kintue-fee.com
One of the most important decisions you will make in your adult life is choosing a job that meets your interests and expectations. You need to know what you like to do, what your interests are and what skills and knowledge you have. The art of finding a job is knowing how to sell yourself by using what you have to your best advantage.
During the last decade, the job market has changed radically. On one hand, people are not content to stick to a job for a long time and are moving around from job to job. On the other hand, organizations are always reengineering and as a consequence there are more people being laid off. By now, most of us realize that a cradle-to-grave job is out the window along with regular raises. Approximately one quarter to one third of all jobs are in transition. The average worker can expect to change jobs six to ten times and careers two to four times. It seems that jobs are disappearing faster than new jobs are being created. There may be a shortage of jobs, but there is always an abundance of work to be done and therefore lots of opportunities. Although the unemployment rate is relatively high, there is still plenty of opportunities for people with the right attitude, entrepreneurial spirit and the willingness to contribute to get hired. If your job isn't giving you the satisfaction you are looking for, it's time to invest a few hours reflecting on what would bring you more fulfillment. Even if you are comfortable with your work, when an opportunity presents itself you could still move on to do something even more interesting and challenging. Look for opportunities and take them as they arise.
In planning your career, you need to have a clear idea of the sort of job you would like to do. Do you like to use your hands to make things? Are you a self-starter with lots of initiatives and enterpreneurial spirit? Do you like to work with people? Do you like investigative work and to deliver high quality products? Whatever your preference, you need to know it. If you have difficulty in making decisions about your career choice, talk to a friend, spouse, mentor or career counselor. Find out what the growth industries are out there. Presently, there is a great demand for nurses and post traumatic stress counselors in North America. Technology and computer companies are still growing and hiring. If you are interested in a career in technology for example, use every opportunity to build a foundation to make your way in the technology-infused world.
Set realistic targets and work toward them with a positive attitude, discipline and enthusiasm. As you get to know more about your job and gain experience, you can begin to plan further ahead. In your early years, you must be prepared to move around to learn and gain experience, as well as to take more than you think you can handle. Be prepared to change your plans if necessary and be flexible in your attitude. Gain confidence by doing your work, whatever it is, to the best of your ability and believe in yourself. Your perseverance in looking for the right job and determination to keep going until you achieve your goal will make the difference between finding a job or not.
More and more organizations are looking for the right people at the right time with the right skills and right culture fit. Nowadays, organizations are likely to base hiring decisions more on skills than on past job titles. Many technical skills become obsolete with progress in technology. Organizations of the future will need people with generalist skills. Employers are seeking people with the following generic skills:
· the ability to take responsibility;
· the ability to communicate and to manage information;
· the ability to learn continuously and think critically;
· the ability to solve problems analytically and make decisions;
· the ability to direct teams, motivate others and meet objectives;
· the ability to work on a team to plan and accomplish goals;
· the ability to design, plan, research and investigate;
· the ability to set priorities and meet deadlines;
Employers are seeking people with the following qualities:
· positive attitude;
· self-confidence;
· willingness to accept challenges;
· adaptability and flexibility;
In short it is very competitive out there and you need to sharpen your skills, competencies and qualities to market yourself and get hired. It is important that you ask yourself if you are achieving the goals you really want and if you are doing the things necessary to become your best in your chosen profession. Self-analysis is needed on a regular basis to evaluate whether your performance and skills measure up to your own standard and the organization's needs. The core competencies that are always in demand include such skills as leadership, communication, problem-solving, analytical and strategic thinking, negotiating, planning and organizing. Being competent is more than simply acquiring a skill, knowledge or experience, it is using and applying them in your workplace to your advantage in order to meet your business needs. You have to develop the creative thinking ability to see the desired goal and plot a course to get from here to there. Strength in these core competencies gives you an edge over competitors and makes you a desirable asset for any organization.
Before you can gain experience and have a chance to contribute in a job, you have to get one first. This takes time, energy and perseverance, but there are techniques and strategies that can give you a head start. The following list of suggestions may be useful if you are looking for a job.
1. Set your job targets. Determine and specify what types of jobs you want and the salary you expect to earn. List your most important job target criteria: what you need and what you want. Be realistic and stay flexible. Formulate your job targets to take advantage of your skills, past experience and qualities.
2. Have an action plan. Make a list of companies you are interested in and any other potential employers. Make a list of contacts and network effectively. Establish a job search routine. Make a schedule of tasks: phoning contacts to establish leads only, not to ask for jobs.
3. Track down job leads. Track down all job leads that are of interest to you or have potential. The more obvious ones are: career section in newspapers, magazines, personnel agencies and recruiters. The best sources of job leads are friends, colleagues, ex-colleagues and relatives.
4. Prepare yourself well. Research the field and companies you are targeting thoroughly using libraries and other available resources. Classify your job target criteria into requirement and preference. Prepare and update your résumé. Practise your job hunting techniques with the companies at the bottom of your preference list. This gives you an opportunity to sharpen your skills on the job leads that you are least interested in. If you succeed in getting a job right away, you may consider it as a temporary job until you get a better one.
5. Focus your effort on your best prospects. Customize your résumé for the job leads that interest you most. Make it appealing to your potential employers by showing you in the best possible light. Ask a competent person to evaluate it for objectivity. Emphasize your education, strengths, accomplishments and work experience that you anticipate they are looking for. Find out who is the person who has the authority to make you an offer. Send your résumé directly to him or her with a copy to the personnel manager. Get as many interviews as you can.
6. Develop the ability to sell yourself. Know your strengths and weaknesses. A positive attitude, enthusiasm and resourcefulness are good selling points in the job stakes. Relate your qualifications, experience, skills and qualities to the needs and relevance of your potential employers. Put yourself in the shoes of the employer looking to fill a job.
7. Prepare yourself for the interviews. Research and learn as much about your potential employers including their products and services, their strengths and weaknesses, and their needs and expectations. Prepare yourself for interviews by rehearsing some specific questions you are likely to be asked. Anticipate the needs of your potential employer and be prepared to relate your strengths, skills, accomplishments and experience to their needs and expectations. Have a list of carefully chosen references available if asked.
8. Sell yourself at the interview. Win the interview performance by selling yourself. Create an immediate rapport and connection with the interviewer(s) by providing good first impressions like a firm handshake, making eye contact when speaking and listening, and appearing relaxed and confident. The easiest way to sell yourself is to convey your passion for what you do. Highlight your experience, skills, strengths and accomplishments that are important to the interviewer(s). Convince your interviewer(s) that you can and are willing to do the job, and can fit in with the company's organization and their corporate culture.
9. Believe in yourself. Whatever the outcome of the interview, have faith and confidence that you will get hired and achieve what you want. If you have a disappointment, try to keep up your morale and spirit. Ask for some constructive feedback and keep going. Never give up. There is nothing to it but to do it, one contact at a time, one interview at a time. If you are made an offer, negotiate for your needs and requirements, again be reasonable and flexible. Accept or refuse any offer gracefully and respectfully in writing. Do not burn any bridges.
Looking for a job is a tough and stressful commitment. To be successful in today's competitive job market, you need to think of yourself as a small business owner who is offering your core competencies and skills. Identify your potential employers and develop an effective business and marketing plan to sell your knowledge and services. Employers are seeking individuals who can be part of their solution and contribute their bottom line. You must be able to convince them that you can add value to their business. Look constantly for ways of matching your skills to solve the employer's problems. View yourself as a solution-oriented entrepreneur by stating clearly what you can do to assist each potential employer. Your success depends on your ability to understand the employer's wants and needs and convince him or her that you will be an asset who can fill the needs.
The advice outlined above has been used successfully in the past by myself and others. Depending on your own circumstances, you have to determine whether they are applicable to you and put them into practice accordingly. Incorporate some of the best job-hunting advice and suggestions in your own present or future job searching strategy. Good luck!
Extract from my book: Become your best.
www.kintue-fee.com
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Make wise decisions and choices
MAKE WISE DECISIONS AND CHOICES
A real decision is making up one's mind based on a free, well thought out and personal commitment to a choice, option, proposal or alternative. To make a wise decision, we need realistic information, a collection of facts, figures and feelings. A healthy self-esteem, assertiveness, self-reliance, good judgement and confidence are qualities and characteristics that facilitate decision-making. It is mostly through our ability or inability to make decisions and choices that our life is as it is today. We take charge of our own lives every time we make real decisions based on our priorities and values. We always have a choice in what we do and how we think. Making choices and decisions offers the possibility to change and improve. On the other hand, if we have great difficulty making decisions and choices, we can have all sorts of problems and complications. Decisions can be terrifying since every time you have to make tough choices, there are inevitably risks and implications. Every major decision has an element of risk, but it also offers the possibility of a benefit. No matter what you do, sometimes you will make the wrong decision. In fact every time you take a tough decision, you must be willing to admit that you might make a mistake. No wonder a lot of people abdicate their responsibility to take decisions and make choices. They depend on others, procrastinate and don't participate fully in their own life.
To start with, you need to have an objective perception of yourself and of reality. You have to understand who you are and know what you want. No one else knows enough about you to make the best decision for you. Every time you make a decision, you are expressing your personality, your values and your feelings. Every decision and choice you make and every action you take is based on your level of self-awareness. Your self-awareness can be defined as the clarity and vision with which you perceive and understand everything that affects your life. It determines your concept of reality. Your level of self-awareness dictates your experiences, attitudes, emotional reactions, anxieties and aspirations. Most importantly, it indicates your sense of self-image and personal worth, and how you feel about yourself.
Basic principles can guide you in making decisions in all aspects of your life. Start by asking yourself if it really matters what decisions you take. Ask yourself if you are truely meeting your needs and priorities. There are lots of choices and decisions you make each day that really don't matter a great deal: things like what clothes or ties to wear, what toothpaste to use, what to eat for lunch, which birthday present to buy, what movies to see. While you want to make a good choice, don't waste too much time on them. There are other times you may think you don't have any choice. You have no choice because you are told to do something. You have no choice because you don't like any of the alternatives suggested to you. You have no choice because you have a bad habit that you can't change. These are just excuses. You always have choices even when you don't like them. Accept that some choices will involve tradeoffs and compromises, some of which might be unpleasant.
As part of an organized society, it helps if whatever decision you take is legal. Gather as much information as you can so that you become more aware of the multitude of alternatives you have in any given situation. Inform yourself thoroughly of all options. Remember that you usually have more options than you think you have. Separate facts from opinions, assumptions, rumours and hearsay. Ask yourself what are the consequences of your decision. Get in touch with your deepest values and feelings. You may have to seek professional advice before making some decisions. Consult your lawyer for legal advice, your plumber for plumbing solutions and your doctor for a medical decision. When faced with a tough decision, concentrate on it and list the pros and cons on paper. Select your best option based on your factual information, priorities, and values. The decision taken should support your objectives and goals. To get better directions, you need a good map. Plan ahead and think it through. You usually go through this more rationale decision-making process when you have plenty of time to plan and choose, for example, when you want to buy a new or second hand car. There is an old Chinese saying that goes like this: "It takes less time to think things through to make a wiser decision than it does to correct a poor decision".
There are situations when you don't have time to ponder and you need to make a decision fast. Some examples are: while driving your car you come to a crossroad and you have no idea which way to turn; somebody points a gun at you and asks for your money; you are the only one at a scene of a fire and somebody trapped inside is calling for help. In these kinds of situations, you go with your instinct, impulse and gut feeling. There is no time to use the intellect and go through the rational decision-making process. Whenever time permits and especially for the more difficult decisions you need to use your rational thinking process together with your experience and intuition. When you find it difficult to make decisions, it means you have some doubt. Use your doubt to maintain perspective and to question your assumptions, judgments and motivations. Let yourself be guided by your main purpose in life, your core values and your priorities. Your decision should be consistent with your values, especially the value of respect. Remember: don't do anything you would not want done to you!
If you are unsure about all the specifics of the issue in question but you still need to take a decision, you can ask yourself whether your decision enhances your fulfillment and happiness as well as that of those who will be affected by your decision. Ask yourself whether the guidelines mentioned above have been generally met and if they have, just do it. Sometimes it takes courage to make bold decisions and to achieve results. It helps to ask yourself what it will cost if you don't take decisive action. It can be very tempting to wait for permission and confirmation before taking any decision. Often opportunities are lost that way. On the other hand, if you rush in to make quick decisions without taking into consideration the basic principles of the decision-making process, you can make mistakes and blunders. The most practical ways of making tough decisions are to use your information, insight, references, experience and intuition in conjunction with your values, beliefs and priorities. Basically, know yourself and your decisions will be wiser and more realistic.
We tend to idealize ourselves, expecting and demanding too much from ourselves. Some decisions need time for development and clarity. We want to make the right decisions all the time if possible. We have doubt and we are scared of making the wrong choices. We must overcome our fears of making wrong decisions. Without any doubt, we are going to screw up along the way! No matter what we do, we will sometimes make the wrong decisions and choices. Let's face it, no decision is perfect. There are no absolutely right or wrong decisions, just different ones. While there is never a perfect choice, there are wise and sensible choices. Sometimes no matter how long we consider the different options, there are still several possible choices and solutions which are acceptable. It does not mean that we should be paralyzed by severe ambivalence, changing our mind back and forth. We should not procrastinate by exercising excessive caution, making sure we have ideal conditions for making a choice. Choosing not to make a decision can lead to anxiety, apathy, discouragement and low self-esteem. There is always the danger that other people will make the decision for you. It is much better to assess your situation clearly, think things through rationally and make the best choice you can rather than procrastinate. Remember that even the most serious decisions you make are usually not as important as you might think. Have the self-confidence to believe that whatever happens as a result of your decision, you'll be able to handle it. Most of the time, the supposedly important decisions are forgotten as you move on. Once a decision is made, it's the commitment and dedication you have to see it through that will determine whether it will turn out to be right or wrong. You then have to discard the other options and alternatives. The commitment to the designation and implementation of your choice is crucial to making it a good decision.
Of course, you have the right and flexibility to change your mind and have second thoughts if conditions have altered to warrant it. Sometimes when you realize you have made a mistake, you may still have enough time to correct it. With each decision, if you have done the best you can under the circumstances and it still doesn't work out, you have to accept the fact and live with the consequences. Whenever you make a choice that turns out to be wrong, be honest with yourself, learn from it, use the lesson to make better decisions in the future and move on. Don't dwell on it. Determine where you went wrong and avoid the same mistake in the future. Some of the greatest lessons you can learn are from your own mistakes. When your decisions are based on your opinions, you have the flexibility to change them to fit your preferences. When you are depressed or have severe anxiety, it is wise to delay important and major decisions. Avoid making decisions when you are angry, frustrated or emotionally charged since you may have to suffer the consequences. A low self-esteem, dependency on others and the need to be accepted and liked can block you from making effective decisions.
Remember that you are only capable of choosing as wisely and rationally as you can under any circumstances depending on the knowledge and information you have, your state of mind, your preconditioning, and your thinking skills. Learn to trust your ability to make choices. The more you are prepared and willing to make decisions, the easier and more natural the process becomes. A larger percentage of your choices will align themselves with your values and will to be right for you. Successful decision-making experience builds self-confidence which in turn facilitates the process. Realism and knowing oneself is the key to wise decision-making. It is through your decisions and choices that you shape and determine your destiny. Make a decision right now that can steer you in a new and positive direction of growth and happiness.
Extract from my book: Become your best
www.kintue-fee.com
A real decision is making up one's mind based on a free, well thought out and personal commitment to a choice, option, proposal or alternative. To make a wise decision, we need realistic information, a collection of facts, figures and feelings. A healthy self-esteem, assertiveness, self-reliance, good judgement and confidence are qualities and characteristics that facilitate decision-making. It is mostly through our ability or inability to make decisions and choices that our life is as it is today. We take charge of our own lives every time we make real decisions based on our priorities and values. We always have a choice in what we do and how we think. Making choices and decisions offers the possibility to change and improve. On the other hand, if we have great difficulty making decisions and choices, we can have all sorts of problems and complications. Decisions can be terrifying since every time you have to make tough choices, there are inevitably risks and implications. Every major decision has an element of risk, but it also offers the possibility of a benefit. No matter what you do, sometimes you will make the wrong decision. In fact every time you take a tough decision, you must be willing to admit that you might make a mistake. No wonder a lot of people abdicate their responsibility to take decisions and make choices. They depend on others, procrastinate and don't participate fully in their own life.
To start with, you need to have an objective perception of yourself and of reality. You have to understand who you are and know what you want. No one else knows enough about you to make the best decision for you. Every time you make a decision, you are expressing your personality, your values and your feelings. Every decision and choice you make and every action you take is based on your level of self-awareness. Your self-awareness can be defined as the clarity and vision with which you perceive and understand everything that affects your life. It determines your concept of reality. Your level of self-awareness dictates your experiences, attitudes, emotional reactions, anxieties and aspirations. Most importantly, it indicates your sense of self-image and personal worth, and how you feel about yourself.
Basic principles can guide you in making decisions in all aspects of your life. Start by asking yourself if it really matters what decisions you take. Ask yourself if you are truely meeting your needs and priorities. There are lots of choices and decisions you make each day that really don't matter a great deal: things like what clothes or ties to wear, what toothpaste to use, what to eat for lunch, which birthday present to buy, what movies to see. While you want to make a good choice, don't waste too much time on them. There are other times you may think you don't have any choice. You have no choice because you are told to do something. You have no choice because you don't like any of the alternatives suggested to you. You have no choice because you have a bad habit that you can't change. These are just excuses. You always have choices even when you don't like them. Accept that some choices will involve tradeoffs and compromises, some of which might be unpleasant.
As part of an organized society, it helps if whatever decision you take is legal. Gather as much information as you can so that you become more aware of the multitude of alternatives you have in any given situation. Inform yourself thoroughly of all options. Remember that you usually have more options than you think you have. Separate facts from opinions, assumptions, rumours and hearsay. Ask yourself what are the consequences of your decision. Get in touch with your deepest values and feelings. You may have to seek professional advice before making some decisions. Consult your lawyer for legal advice, your plumber for plumbing solutions and your doctor for a medical decision. When faced with a tough decision, concentrate on it and list the pros and cons on paper. Select your best option based on your factual information, priorities, and values. The decision taken should support your objectives and goals. To get better directions, you need a good map. Plan ahead and think it through. You usually go through this more rationale decision-making process when you have plenty of time to plan and choose, for example, when you want to buy a new or second hand car. There is an old Chinese saying that goes like this: "It takes less time to think things through to make a wiser decision than it does to correct a poor decision".
There are situations when you don't have time to ponder and you need to make a decision fast. Some examples are: while driving your car you come to a crossroad and you have no idea which way to turn; somebody points a gun at you and asks for your money; you are the only one at a scene of a fire and somebody trapped inside is calling for help. In these kinds of situations, you go with your instinct, impulse and gut feeling. There is no time to use the intellect and go through the rational decision-making process. Whenever time permits and especially for the more difficult decisions you need to use your rational thinking process together with your experience and intuition. When you find it difficult to make decisions, it means you have some doubt. Use your doubt to maintain perspective and to question your assumptions, judgments and motivations. Let yourself be guided by your main purpose in life, your core values and your priorities. Your decision should be consistent with your values, especially the value of respect. Remember: don't do anything you would not want done to you!
If you are unsure about all the specifics of the issue in question but you still need to take a decision, you can ask yourself whether your decision enhances your fulfillment and happiness as well as that of those who will be affected by your decision. Ask yourself whether the guidelines mentioned above have been generally met and if they have, just do it. Sometimes it takes courage to make bold decisions and to achieve results. It helps to ask yourself what it will cost if you don't take decisive action. It can be very tempting to wait for permission and confirmation before taking any decision. Often opportunities are lost that way. On the other hand, if you rush in to make quick decisions without taking into consideration the basic principles of the decision-making process, you can make mistakes and blunders. The most practical ways of making tough decisions are to use your information, insight, references, experience and intuition in conjunction with your values, beliefs and priorities. Basically, know yourself and your decisions will be wiser and more realistic.
We tend to idealize ourselves, expecting and demanding too much from ourselves. Some decisions need time for development and clarity. We want to make the right decisions all the time if possible. We have doubt and we are scared of making the wrong choices. We must overcome our fears of making wrong decisions. Without any doubt, we are going to screw up along the way! No matter what we do, we will sometimes make the wrong decisions and choices. Let's face it, no decision is perfect. There are no absolutely right or wrong decisions, just different ones. While there is never a perfect choice, there are wise and sensible choices. Sometimes no matter how long we consider the different options, there are still several possible choices and solutions which are acceptable. It does not mean that we should be paralyzed by severe ambivalence, changing our mind back and forth. We should not procrastinate by exercising excessive caution, making sure we have ideal conditions for making a choice. Choosing not to make a decision can lead to anxiety, apathy, discouragement and low self-esteem. There is always the danger that other people will make the decision for you. It is much better to assess your situation clearly, think things through rationally and make the best choice you can rather than procrastinate. Remember that even the most serious decisions you make are usually not as important as you might think. Have the self-confidence to believe that whatever happens as a result of your decision, you'll be able to handle it. Most of the time, the supposedly important decisions are forgotten as you move on. Once a decision is made, it's the commitment and dedication you have to see it through that will determine whether it will turn out to be right or wrong. You then have to discard the other options and alternatives. The commitment to the designation and implementation of your choice is crucial to making it a good decision.
Of course, you have the right and flexibility to change your mind and have second thoughts if conditions have altered to warrant it. Sometimes when you realize you have made a mistake, you may still have enough time to correct it. With each decision, if you have done the best you can under the circumstances and it still doesn't work out, you have to accept the fact and live with the consequences. Whenever you make a choice that turns out to be wrong, be honest with yourself, learn from it, use the lesson to make better decisions in the future and move on. Don't dwell on it. Determine where you went wrong and avoid the same mistake in the future. Some of the greatest lessons you can learn are from your own mistakes. When your decisions are based on your opinions, you have the flexibility to change them to fit your preferences. When you are depressed or have severe anxiety, it is wise to delay important and major decisions. Avoid making decisions when you are angry, frustrated or emotionally charged since you may have to suffer the consequences. A low self-esteem, dependency on others and the need to be accepted and liked can block you from making effective decisions.
Remember that you are only capable of choosing as wisely and rationally as you can under any circumstances depending on the knowledge and information you have, your state of mind, your preconditioning, and your thinking skills. Learn to trust your ability to make choices. The more you are prepared and willing to make decisions, the easier and more natural the process becomes. A larger percentage of your choices will align themselves with your values and will to be right for you. Successful decision-making experience builds self-confidence which in turn facilitates the process. Realism and knowing oneself is the key to wise decision-making. It is through your decisions and choices that you shape and determine your destiny. Make a decision right now that can steer you in a new and positive direction of growth and happiness.
Extract from my book: Become your best
www.kintue-fee.com
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Understand your emotions
UNDERSTAND YOUR EMOTIONS
An emotion is a strong feeling often accompanied by physical and psychological response. Some people blush and feel ashamed when they are caught in an embarrassing situation, others do not. It is important to understand your emotions and to be aware that they can be different from others. Do not make the assumptions that everybody has the same emotions and desires. Your emotions are reflections of your mental attitude. Some of our primary emotional needs are caring, acceptance, trust, respect, self-esteem, appreciation and reassurance which are essentially the need for love. Other positive emotions are hope, faith, sympathy, optimism, and loyalty. We also have negative emotions, like anger, fear, anxiety, hatred, greed, jealousy, revenge, frustration, sadness and depression. Some of the so-called negative emotions are sometimes necessary for our survival. In an extreme situation that someone is threatening to harm you or your family, emotions like anger and fear can help you get out of your predicament. Common sense tells us that if someone has never experienced these types of emotions, he or she will be ill-equipped to understand or predict the kind of situation or behaviour likely to cause these emotional states. Fortunately most of us have experienced these emotions and have a fairly good appreciation of their effects.
Understanding the needs, behaviours and emotions of people is a powerful and practical tool for improving our relationships and deepening our capacity to experience life to its fullest. To fulfill others, you need to learn to satisfy their emotional needs. Likewise by discovering your needs, you can seek and satisfy them through your communication and behaviour. Your emotional needs have to be met in order that you can feel fulfilled. You have to be in tune with how you feel at all times by being honest with yourself about your emotions. Your feelings are an important source of knowledge and wisdom about yourself that is readily accessible to you and nobody else. By tuning in to them, you can access valuable information that cannot be found anywhere else that can be useful in the pursuit of your goal. Understanding your feelings is invaluable in the process of making successful personal change that will enhance your life.
Serious emotional difficulties occur when you cannot adjust to your surroundings and when you have the wrong attitude, poor training or social pressures. Past experiences and habits in the handling of your emotions often determine whether or not you will be able to weather a serious failure, a great disappointment or any emergency crisis. Any personal change can trigger strong feelings which should be acknowledged and understood. How would you handle a major setback in your health, family life, personal finance or employment? It is normal to experience some degree of sadness, anger, depression, fear and even grief in the change process. Accept the facts as they are and do not exaggerate them. Seek professional advice if necessary and develop a strategy to face the situation. A positive mental attitude to life always helps and is even more essential in these crisis situations.
Anger is an emotion we have all experienced at one time or another. It is a feeling of rage and of passionate displeasure caused by acute differences of opinions and major misunderstandings. Anger alerts us to things that are offensive to our values and beliefs. We can avoid anger by keeping our emotional reactions within reasonable bounds, by detecting the many potential trigger signals. Choose not to respond to them with anger. Try not to snap-react to insensitive words, specific actions or irritations. Learn to detect them and deal with them for what they are. Despite our effort, we sometimes get frustrated and angry with ourselves or with other people. For many of us, anger is an emotion which reveals the ugly side of us. We tend to repress the feeling hoping it will dissipate and we can get on with our lives. Repressing anger unfortunately results in blocking other emotions such as caring, empathy, and warmth; and can destroy relationships. Anger does not simply dissolve, it remains and accumulates, creating anxiety, confusion and feelings of rage. If repressed and unexpressed, explosive anger may erupt in the form of acute anxiety, temper tantrums, physical and verbal abuse, depression and self-hate. Before the misunderstandings, problems, and irritations that triggered your anger in the first place can be resolved, it must be expressed directly as anger, preferably at the time of its inception. A lot of times, anger is directed at people we care about the most, like our children, spouses and friends. Let them know how you feel and why. Try to express your anger as warmly, directly and appropriately as possible. You can almost feel the intensity of the anger dissipating once you have expressed it. As the emotion subsides, ask for clarification and give an explanation for your anger. Usually, confusion, turmoil and complication disappear, and good feelings emerge. Do not hesitate to apologize if your anger was inappropriate for the occasion.
Guilt and worry are perhaps the most futile emotions that we waste lots of time and energy on, thereby preventing us from concentrating on what is really important in our lives. Ask yourself why you carry around such a heavy load of guilt and worry. Feeling guilty may mean that you feel upset, dejected or depressed about something you did or said, focusing on past behaviour and happenings. Guilt also tells you that you have violated one of your core values, beliefs and principles. You can certainly learn from your past mistakes to ensure that you are not going to violate that particular standard in the future. Use your mistakes as a self-correcting kind of mechanism but realize that no amount of guilt can ever undo a historical event. Almost everybody spends a lot of time and energy worrying these days. It seems to be a human tendency to have the feeling that, no matter how well things may be going, everything could change for the worse. If you let negative thoughts occupy your mind without questioning them, they tend to leave behind a trail of worry and anxiety.
Worrying is a non-productive activity that steals our precious time. By worrying about a possible future event or about the consequences of something that happened, you are neglecting the present moment and concentrating your attention on the future or the past. Why worry about something that might or might not happen in the future? A high percentage of what we worry about never happens anyway. In any case, not a moment of worry will improve the situation, rather it may lead to fear, confusion and exhaustion. You may feel that your worrying thoughts creep up from nowhere and defy your best efforts to eradicate them. In fact, you create your own worries and determine what you want to worry about. Do not victimize yourself by listening to messages that generate worries and anxieties. Instead focus on a pleasant substitute mental activity whenever you want to banish your worry from your mind. Think of some of your worries that did not come true. Ask yourself whether they were worth the stressful emotions. Give up worrying about things that are beyond your control.
It is much more useful to take some action that can relieve you from worrying. Each time you take action and stop worrying, you can begin to appreciate your own problem-solving abilities. Instead of worrying, switch into constructive planning to resolve the problem. Sit down quietly and write out what is worrying you. Write out the worst case scenario. Ask yourself, if that happened what would you do? When you figure out what you could do if the worst did happen, the intensity of the worry will diminish. You can then take some appropriate actions to ensure that you would survive it or even reduce its impact.
A lot of people worry about losing their jobs. If you can sense that the writing is on the wall, rather than just worry about losing your job, you can spend your time and energy looking at the different options. You can start searching for another job right away. You can plan to start your own business or take some time off to reevaluate your situation. Take some action and begin addressing what you are worried about. By working on self-enhancing thoughts and ideas, you can avoid or eliminate the need for guilt and worry. Everybody worries sometimes and has experienced some form of guilt. You can begin to change your attitude about the things you worry or feel guilty about. Realize that the guilt and worry do not help solve anything. It takes practice to give up worrying and feeling guilty; you need to be determined to eliminate or at least minimize these stressful and futile emotions from your life.
Suitable emotions are facilitated by knowing that every act produces definite consequences. Cause and effect operate in one's emotional life just as they do in the physical world. You should understand your conduct and your emotional reaction as well as those of others. Most people have experienced situations where they are so tensed up that it is difficult to function and perform effectively. These situations usually happen at times when they really want to do well or when they are anxious about lacking some skills. For instance, a common source of anxiety for millions of people is having to make a public speech. Anxiety is present because they believe they lack the necessary skill, and this in turn undermines their confidence and inevitably leads to a poor speech.
As human beings, we sometimes have feelings of ambivalence. We have conflicting feelings about something. All of us have mixed and often diametrically opposed feelings, opinions, thoughts and ideas about ourselves, other people, issues and the decisions that we make in our lives. We must expect a normal amount of ambivalence. We want to be free and independent, and we also rely on our loving family for many things. Some mothers love their careers, while they also want to be home with their children. We want to take risks and at the same time we hold feelings of prudence and security. Some of us are ambivalent about whether God exists. These ambivalent feelings can coexist. This human capacity to feel conflicting feelings simultaneously may be a source of confusion and discomfort. They can prevent us from taking action, asserting an opinion and making decisions. On the positive side, it forces us to make difficult choices, to explore our inner self, to consult our hierarchy of priorities and to trust our values and beliefs. It is a valuable human attribute which makes us more sensitive to our feelings and helps us understand ourselves and others.
The process of growing up emotionally at any age is not easy. Emotional maturity requires considerable effort and endeavour. To achieve it, you should understand what motivates your behaviour and needs. Self-understanding is the ability to analyze your emotions by knowing what sort of person you really are. The best time to handle an emotion is when you first begin to feel it. It's much more difficult to interrupt it once it is out of control. Acknowledge your emotion. Identify what you are really feeling and why. Careful reflection and introspection are needed about the way you talk to yourself and the resulting emotions that you attach to this self-talk. This evaluation enables you to monitor what progress you are making towards your goals and can lead to a better sense of self-worth. The capacity to be patient, to refrain from judgment and to be able to control your emergent feelings are signs of emotional maturity. An emotionally mature person will have some or all of the following characteristics:
1. Healthy self-esteem
2. Ability to face reality
3. Independence and self-reliance
4. Happy social relationships
5. Good values and beliefs
6. Positive mental attitude
7. Harmony and peace of mind
8. Balanced life
From the point of view of emotional stability, it is vital that you think well of yourself. Your self-talk should reflect that. You can make profound changes in your well-being by changing the nature of your self-talk. The ability to face reality demands a courageous confrontation with the facts of life. This self-reliance is based on your independence and inner strength. If you are living according to your values, beliefs and interests, you will have a feeling of self-worth, a sense of fulfillment and a balanced way of life.
Extract from my book: Become your best.
www.kintue-fee.com
An emotion is a strong feeling often accompanied by physical and psychological response. Some people blush and feel ashamed when they are caught in an embarrassing situation, others do not. It is important to understand your emotions and to be aware that they can be different from others. Do not make the assumptions that everybody has the same emotions and desires. Your emotions are reflections of your mental attitude. Some of our primary emotional needs are caring, acceptance, trust, respect, self-esteem, appreciation and reassurance which are essentially the need for love. Other positive emotions are hope, faith, sympathy, optimism, and loyalty. We also have negative emotions, like anger, fear, anxiety, hatred, greed, jealousy, revenge, frustration, sadness and depression. Some of the so-called negative emotions are sometimes necessary for our survival. In an extreme situation that someone is threatening to harm you or your family, emotions like anger and fear can help you get out of your predicament. Common sense tells us that if someone has never experienced these types of emotions, he or she will be ill-equipped to understand or predict the kind of situation or behaviour likely to cause these emotional states. Fortunately most of us have experienced these emotions and have a fairly good appreciation of their effects.
Understanding the needs, behaviours and emotions of people is a powerful and practical tool for improving our relationships and deepening our capacity to experience life to its fullest. To fulfill others, you need to learn to satisfy their emotional needs. Likewise by discovering your needs, you can seek and satisfy them through your communication and behaviour. Your emotional needs have to be met in order that you can feel fulfilled. You have to be in tune with how you feel at all times by being honest with yourself about your emotions. Your feelings are an important source of knowledge and wisdom about yourself that is readily accessible to you and nobody else. By tuning in to them, you can access valuable information that cannot be found anywhere else that can be useful in the pursuit of your goal. Understanding your feelings is invaluable in the process of making successful personal change that will enhance your life.
Serious emotional difficulties occur when you cannot adjust to your surroundings and when you have the wrong attitude, poor training or social pressures. Past experiences and habits in the handling of your emotions often determine whether or not you will be able to weather a serious failure, a great disappointment or any emergency crisis. Any personal change can trigger strong feelings which should be acknowledged and understood. How would you handle a major setback in your health, family life, personal finance or employment? It is normal to experience some degree of sadness, anger, depression, fear and even grief in the change process. Accept the facts as they are and do not exaggerate them. Seek professional advice if necessary and develop a strategy to face the situation. A positive mental attitude to life always helps and is even more essential in these crisis situations.
Anger is an emotion we have all experienced at one time or another. It is a feeling of rage and of passionate displeasure caused by acute differences of opinions and major misunderstandings. Anger alerts us to things that are offensive to our values and beliefs. We can avoid anger by keeping our emotional reactions within reasonable bounds, by detecting the many potential trigger signals. Choose not to respond to them with anger. Try not to snap-react to insensitive words, specific actions or irritations. Learn to detect them and deal with them for what they are. Despite our effort, we sometimes get frustrated and angry with ourselves or with other people. For many of us, anger is an emotion which reveals the ugly side of us. We tend to repress the feeling hoping it will dissipate and we can get on with our lives. Repressing anger unfortunately results in blocking other emotions such as caring, empathy, and warmth; and can destroy relationships. Anger does not simply dissolve, it remains and accumulates, creating anxiety, confusion and feelings of rage. If repressed and unexpressed, explosive anger may erupt in the form of acute anxiety, temper tantrums, physical and verbal abuse, depression and self-hate. Before the misunderstandings, problems, and irritations that triggered your anger in the first place can be resolved, it must be expressed directly as anger, preferably at the time of its inception. A lot of times, anger is directed at people we care about the most, like our children, spouses and friends. Let them know how you feel and why. Try to express your anger as warmly, directly and appropriately as possible. You can almost feel the intensity of the anger dissipating once you have expressed it. As the emotion subsides, ask for clarification and give an explanation for your anger. Usually, confusion, turmoil and complication disappear, and good feelings emerge. Do not hesitate to apologize if your anger was inappropriate for the occasion.
Guilt and worry are perhaps the most futile emotions that we waste lots of time and energy on, thereby preventing us from concentrating on what is really important in our lives. Ask yourself why you carry around such a heavy load of guilt and worry. Feeling guilty may mean that you feel upset, dejected or depressed about something you did or said, focusing on past behaviour and happenings. Guilt also tells you that you have violated one of your core values, beliefs and principles. You can certainly learn from your past mistakes to ensure that you are not going to violate that particular standard in the future. Use your mistakes as a self-correcting kind of mechanism but realize that no amount of guilt can ever undo a historical event. Almost everybody spends a lot of time and energy worrying these days. It seems to be a human tendency to have the feeling that, no matter how well things may be going, everything could change for the worse. If you let negative thoughts occupy your mind without questioning them, they tend to leave behind a trail of worry and anxiety.
Worrying is a non-productive activity that steals our precious time. By worrying about a possible future event or about the consequences of something that happened, you are neglecting the present moment and concentrating your attention on the future or the past. Why worry about something that might or might not happen in the future? A high percentage of what we worry about never happens anyway. In any case, not a moment of worry will improve the situation, rather it may lead to fear, confusion and exhaustion. You may feel that your worrying thoughts creep up from nowhere and defy your best efforts to eradicate them. In fact, you create your own worries and determine what you want to worry about. Do not victimize yourself by listening to messages that generate worries and anxieties. Instead focus on a pleasant substitute mental activity whenever you want to banish your worry from your mind. Think of some of your worries that did not come true. Ask yourself whether they were worth the stressful emotions. Give up worrying about things that are beyond your control.
It is much more useful to take some action that can relieve you from worrying. Each time you take action and stop worrying, you can begin to appreciate your own problem-solving abilities. Instead of worrying, switch into constructive planning to resolve the problem. Sit down quietly and write out what is worrying you. Write out the worst case scenario. Ask yourself, if that happened what would you do? When you figure out what you could do if the worst did happen, the intensity of the worry will diminish. You can then take some appropriate actions to ensure that you would survive it or even reduce its impact.
A lot of people worry about losing their jobs. If you can sense that the writing is on the wall, rather than just worry about losing your job, you can spend your time and energy looking at the different options. You can start searching for another job right away. You can plan to start your own business or take some time off to reevaluate your situation. Take some action and begin addressing what you are worried about. By working on self-enhancing thoughts and ideas, you can avoid or eliminate the need for guilt and worry. Everybody worries sometimes and has experienced some form of guilt. You can begin to change your attitude about the things you worry or feel guilty about. Realize that the guilt and worry do not help solve anything. It takes practice to give up worrying and feeling guilty; you need to be determined to eliminate or at least minimize these stressful and futile emotions from your life.
Suitable emotions are facilitated by knowing that every act produces definite consequences. Cause and effect operate in one's emotional life just as they do in the physical world. You should understand your conduct and your emotional reaction as well as those of others. Most people have experienced situations where they are so tensed up that it is difficult to function and perform effectively. These situations usually happen at times when they really want to do well or when they are anxious about lacking some skills. For instance, a common source of anxiety for millions of people is having to make a public speech. Anxiety is present because they believe they lack the necessary skill, and this in turn undermines their confidence and inevitably leads to a poor speech.
As human beings, we sometimes have feelings of ambivalence. We have conflicting feelings about something. All of us have mixed and often diametrically opposed feelings, opinions, thoughts and ideas about ourselves, other people, issues and the decisions that we make in our lives. We must expect a normal amount of ambivalence. We want to be free and independent, and we also rely on our loving family for many things. Some mothers love their careers, while they also want to be home with their children. We want to take risks and at the same time we hold feelings of prudence and security. Some of us are ambivalent about whether God exists. These ambivalent feelings can coexist. This human capacity to feel conflicting feelings simultaneously may be a source of confusion and discomfort. They can prevent us from taking action, asserting an opinion and making decisions. On the positive side, it forces us to make difficult choices, to explore our inner self, to consult our hierarchy of priorities and to trust our values and beliefs. It is a valuable human attribute which makes us more sensitive to our feelings and helps us understand ourselves and others.
The process of growing up emotionally at any age is not easy. Emotional maturity requires considerable effort and endeavour. To achieve it, you should understand what motivates your behaviour and needs. Self-understanding is the ability to analyze your emotions by knowing what sort of person you really are. The best time to handle an emotion is when you first begin to feel it. It's much more difficult to interrupt it once it is out of control. Acknowledge your emotion. Identify what you are really feeling and why. Careful reflection and introspection are needed about the way you talk to yourself and the resulting emotions that you attach to this self-talk. This evaluation enables you to monitor what progress you are making towards your goals and can lead to a better sense of self-worth. The capacity to be patient, to refrain from judgment and to be able to control your emergent feelings are signs of emotional maturity. An emotionally mature person will have some or all of the following characteristics:
1. Healthy self-esteem
2. Ability to face reality
3. Independence and self-reliance
4. Happy social relationships
5. Good values and beliefs
6. Positive mental attitude
7. Harmony and peace of mind
8. Balanced life
From the point of view of emotional stability, it is vital that you think well of yourself. Your self-talk should reflect that. You can make profound changes in your well-being by changing the nature of your self-talk. The ability to face reality demands a courageous confrontation with the facts of life. This self-reliance is based on your independence and inner strength. If you are living according to your values, beliefs and interests, you will have a feeling of self-worth, a sense of fulfillment and a balanced way of life.
Extract from my book: Become your best.
www.kintue-fee.com
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Manage your precious time
MANAGE YOUR PRECIOUS TIME
Time is relative. What is our time and existence on planet Earth in comparison to the history of the universe? A week of honeymoon seems barely like a few hours while one hour in the dentist's chair feels like an eternity. Time once passed cannot be reversed nor can it be replaced, it is gone forever. Time is not an expandable commodity. Everybody has the same amount of time in a day or in a year. To waste your time is really wasting part of your life. There are so many useful and wonderful things you can do with your life. However, there is only a limited amount of time so that you simply cannot do everything or help everybody. You have to choose how you are going to spend your precious time. Do not waste your time spending it with people you don't like or doing things you dislike in order to be liked by others. Instead use it effectively to achieve your goals and to fill your purpose in life. Time budgeting always pays dividends because you can choose to use it to make progress toward your goals and purpose in life. It is your responsibility to decide how to make the best use of your time.
Time management techniques are tools to help you achieve more control over your life and function more efficiently. You can't really make time, find time or get time. What you can do is manage your precious time. Effective time management requires that you know your purpose in life, your needs and your goals very clearly. It also requires that you devote some time to further your plan. By properly defining your needs and goals, you can save a lot of valuable time. In your daily activities, you have to balance your family responsibilities, your work, your social interaction and your personal discretionary time. Don't let your business activities control and take over your personal time with your family. Remember jobs, goals and problems come and go, but the most important people in your life are with you for a lifetime. Treat your personal and family time as a top priority. Ensure your family spends dinner time together to share food, and experience good spirit and humour.
Organize and execute the tasks around priorities. Decide what is really important to you. Tasks must be planned and a list of things to do must be made to achieve your set objectives. You have to identify which of these tasks are urgent and vital. You make specific plans to accomplish them first. Usually crises require your immediate attention. You have to make sure you are not beaten up by problems and emergencies all day everyday. Otherwise you will be always stressed out and forever responding to crises.
The most effective way of managing your time is to spend a great deal of time doing things and tasks that are not urgent, but are very important. This is the essence of effective self-management and of being proactive. It involves things like building relationships, long-range planning, regular exercising, preventive maintenance and reflecting on your primary purpose in life. In this mode you are proactive, opportunity-minded, effective and you are dealing with the tasks of greatest worth to you. Do not fall into the trap of thinking that because they are not urgent that you can postpone them for a later date. Avoid the pitfall of saying to yourself that you can always do something tomorrow. It is easy to procrastinate and lose your interest and focus on what needs to be done. Instead, ask yourself what is the one thing that you could do that would make a tremendous positive difference in your personal or professional life. Decide to do it now, on a regular basis and watch how your effectiveness improves. Once you can see positive results, engage yourself in these types of activities for a longer percentage of your time.
Avoid interruptions, they can make you waste a lot of time. If you have to drive somewhere in a hurry you choose the shortest route with the fewest traffic lights and stop signs at intersections. Allowing interruption to interfere with your work and your planned activities usually decreases your productivity and efficiency, and reduces your ability to focus. During a normal day you encounter three types of interruptions that can waste your time: your environment, other people and yourself. One of the most frequent interruptions is yourself. Have you ever noticed that you sometimes leave something you started to do something else? Or you are working on a project, then your mind wanders to something else. Each time you do that, you tend to make a mental note for yourself to remember. This type of interruption inevitably takes away part of your time, focus and energy. Write down what you have to do and stick to the tasks at hand.
The second type of interruption is environmental. Traffic jams, queuing for anything and broken equipment are examples of environmental interruptions which waste a lot of your time. Take another route, alter your schedule and fix what is broken in order to avoid and control potential interruption as much as possible. The third interruption is other people who just want to chat with you or tell you their problems. They can approach you in person or by telephone. They are usually the most difficult to control and can be your biggest time-wasters. If you are doing an important thing, avoid casual interruptions from others by telling them tactfully that you are busy. Learn to say no when they ask if you have a minute. If you usually receive lots of telephone calls, it's essential to have an answering machine to screen the incoming calls. Return all important and urgent telephone calls as soon as possible. Set aside a period of time, keeping it as short as possible, to return all other calls at the same time. By planning your day and eliminating your main interruptions, you can accomplish a great deal more in less time.
Take charge by tracking how you spend your time. Tracking time can be made easier with a daily schedule like your personal time log. You can now look ahead with your goals in mind and schedule time to achieve them. Write down the main activities that occupy each hour or half-hour in your log. To be more effective, make quick and simple daily, weekly and monthly schedules. It would defeat the purpose if you take an inordinate amount of time to prepare these schedules. Set realistic time frames and be flexible within reason. Schedules and plans are useful tools but don't be chained to them. You want the freedom and flexibility to respond to unanticipated events, relationships and experiences in a meaningful way. Record what you plan to do and what you actually did with your time. Keep careful record of your time for a week. This will provide accurate information about how you are currently spending your time. Analyze your entries and check whether you are spending your time wisely. If necessary make adjustment so as to be able to reach your goals and live purposefully. Remember that the realization of your goals can easily suffer from being awarded insufficient time.
Death reminds us of the value of time. We all know we won't be on this earth forever. It's only when we face the fact that each of us has a limited time on earth that we will begin to live each day to the fullest. Time is one of our most valuable commodities and it is also one of our most precious gifts. The concept of time management does not mean you can't give your time to others, by volunteering to contribute in something worthwhile, by listening to a friend's problem and by helping others. Remember to respect other people's time too by being diligently on time when you are expected. Managing your time effectively in this fashion helps your personal development in a nurturing manner. The use of your time reflects the degree to which you have made the principles of personal management and development a part of your life.
Extracts from my book: Become your best
www.kintue-fee.com
Time is relative. What is our time and existence on planet Earth in comparison to the history of the universe? A week of honeymoon seems barely like a few hours while one hour in the dentist's chair feels like an eternity. Time once passed cannot be reversed nor can it be replaced, it is gone forever. Time is not an expandable commodity. Everybody has the same amount of time in a day or in a year. To waste your time is really wasting part of your life. There are so many useful and wonderful things you can do with your life. However, there is only a limited amount of time so that you simply cannot do everything or help everybody. You have to choose how you are going to spend your precious time. Do not waste your time spending it with people you don't like or doing things you dislike in order to be liked by others. Instead use it effectively to achieve your goals and to fill your purpose in life. Time budgeting always pays dividends because you can choose to use it to make progress toward your goals and purpose in life. It is your responsibility to decide how to make the best use of your time.
Time management techniques are tools to help you achieve more control over your life and function more efficiently. You can't really make time, find time or get time. What you can do is manage your precious time. Effective time management requires that you know your purpose in life, your needs and your goals very clearly. It also requires that you devote some time to further your plan. By properly defining your needs and goals, you can save a lot of valuable time. In your daily activities, you have to balance your family responsibilities, your work, your social interaction and your personal discretionary time. Don't let your business activities control and take over your personal time with your family. Remember jobs, goals and problems come and go, but the most important people in your life are with you for a lifetime. Treat your personal and family time as a top priority. Ensure your family spends dinner time together to share food, and experience good spirit and humour.
Organize and execute the tasks around priorities. Decide what is really important to you. Tasks must be planned and a list of things to do must be made to achieve your set objectives. You have to identify which of these tasks are urgent and vital. You make specific plans to accomplish them first. Usually crises require your immediate attention. You have to make sure you are not beaten up by problems and emergencies all day everyday. Otherwise you will be always stressed out and forever responding to crises.
The most effective way of managing your time is to spend a great deal of time doing things and tasks that are not urgent, but are very important. This is the essence of effective self-management and of being proactive. It involves things like building relationships, long-range planning, regular exercising, preventive maintenance and reflecting on your primary purpose in life. In this mode you are proactive, opportunity-minded, effective and you are dealing with the tasks of greatest worth to you. Do not fall into the trap of thinking that because they are not urgent that you can postpone them for a later date. Avoid the pitfall of saying to yourself that you can always do something tomorrow. It is easy to procrastinate and lose your interest and focus on what needs to be done. Instead, ask yourself what is the one thing that you could do that would make a tremendous positive difference in your personal or professional life. Decide to do it now, on a regular basis and watch how your effectiveness improves. Once you can see positive results, engage yourself in these types of activities for a longer percentage of your time.
Avoid interruptions, they can make you waste a lot of time. If you have to drive somewhere in a hurry you choose the shortest route with the fewest traffic lights and stop signs at intersections. Allowing interruption to interfere with your work and your planned activities usually decreases your productivity and efficiency, and reduces your ability to focus. During a normal day you encounter three types of interruptions that can waste your time: your environment, other people and yourself. One of the most frequent interruptions is yourself. Have you ever noticed that you sometimes leave something you started to do something else? Or you are working on a project, then your mind wanders to something else. Each time you do that, you tend to make a mental note for yourself to remember. This type of interruption inevitably takes away part of your time, focus and energy. Write down what you have to do and stick to the tasks at hand.
The second type of interruption is environmental. Traffic jams, queuing for anything and broken equipment are examples of environmental interruptions which waste a lot of your time. Take another route, alter your schedule and fix what is broken in order to avoid and control potential interruption as much as possible. The third interruption is other people who just want to chat with you or tell you their problems. They can approach you in person or by telephone. They are usually the most difficult to control and can be your biggest time-wasters. If you are doing an important thing, avoid casual interruptions from others by telling them tactfully that you are busy. Learn to say no when they ask if you have a minute. If you usually receive lots of telephone calls, it's essential to have an answering machine to screen the incoming calls. Return all important and urgent telephone calls as soon as possible. Set aside a period of time, keeping it as short as possible, to return all other calls at the same time. By planning your day and eliminating your main interruptions, you can accomplish a great deal more in less time.
Take charge by tracking how you spend your time. Tracking time can be made easier with a daily schedule like your personal time log. You can now look ahead with your goals in mind and schedule time to achieve them. Write down the main activities that occupy each hour or half-hour in your log. To be more effective, make quick and simple daily, weekly and monthly schedules. It would defeat the purpose if you take an inordinate amount of time to prepare these schedules. Set realistic time frames and be flexible within reason. Schedules and plans are useful tools but don't be chained to them. You want the freedom and flexibility to respond to unanticipated events, relationships and experiences in a meaningful way. Record what you plan to do and what you actually did with your time. Keep careful record of your time for a week. This will provide accurate information about how you are currently spending your time. Analyze your entries and check whether you are spending your time wisely. If necessary make adjustment so as to be able to reach your goals and live purposefully. Remember that the realization of your goals can easily suffer from being awarded insufficient time.
Death reminds us of the value of time. We all know we won't be on this earth forever. It's only when we face the fact that each of us has a limited time on earth that we will begin to live each day to the fullest. Time is one of our most valuable commodities and it is also one of our most precious gifts. The concept of time management does not mean you can't give your time to others, by volunteering to contribute in something worthwhile, by listening to a friend's problem and by helping others. Remember to respect other people's time too by being diligently on time when you are expected. Managing your time effectively in this fashion helps your personal development in a nurturing manner. The use of your time reflects the degree to which you have made the principles of personal management and development a part of your life.
Extracts from my book: Become your best
www.kintue-fee.com
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Incorporate good habits in your daily activities
INCORPORATE GOOD HABITS IN YOUR DAILY ACTIVITIES
All of us are creatures of habit. We all have good and bad habits. The challenge is to change bad habits into good ones. Habits are a combination of internalized principles, ways of thinking and doing, and lifestyle behaviours. Healthy habits can be learned by anyone who is willing to put in the necessary effort. You too can cultivate good habits that can enhance your life enormously if you have the discipline to pay attention to what you think and do. At first the implementation of any new habit is difficult and awkward, and demands a lot of effort. After some persistent repetition, you will find it easier and eventually the habit becomes almost effortless to put into practice. Habits become a part of your nature by willpower, practice and repetition. Cultivate good habits to the point that they become second nature. People with a wide range of winning habits are likely to have more effective responses in their repertoire. Successful people understand the importance of good habits and religiously practise them in their daily process of living. You must remain alert to the effects of your habits to ensure that they are still serving a useful purpose. Be ready and willing to change your old bad habits and embrace new winning ones which will serve you better. Try substitution. For example, instead of a chocolate bar, have an apple for a snack. Be committed and force yourself to hold tight to the new habits for at least 21 consecutive days. Let the good habits be the little extras you choose to do. Think how much difference the incorporation of a repertoire of winning habits can make to your life, say five years from now. Let your imagination and visualization motivate you to put them into practice right now.
Much of our behaviours and habits are so well developed that they become automatic responses. It is important that we choose and develop good habits when we are young rather than to change bad habits when we are older because breaking bad habits is very difficult. Just look at the millions of people who know that smoking is bad for their health. They know that every cigarette they smoke can potentially reduce their life expectancy by approximately fourteen minutes. They are desperate to give it up but find it almost impossible to break the addiction. Many people also have temporary bad habits which are perpetuated by fuss, punishment and encouragement which may pass away of themselves if left unnoticed. To change entrenched bad habits, one has to put a lot of effort into spotting the triggering process, stopping the automatic response, and substituting more appropriate behaviour. People with bad habits due to serious addiction such as drug abuse, smoking and drinking problems, need to seek help right away.
Make your habits serve you, not the other way around. Ask yourself whether any habit is contributing to your well-being or not. If you change your habit, what will be your positive benefit? So long as you are hanging on to habits that are not enhancing your life, you are limiting your potential. It is within your power to cultivate the habit of reminding yourself that you can make wiser choices. Make it a daily habit to read materials which expand your mind. A good habit worth stressing is to laugh at yourself and with yourself. Don't take yourself too seriously. Laughing at yourself is a good way of acknowledging your imperfections and humanness. Get in the habit of surrounding yourself with positive minded, effective and wise people. All the principles and advice in this book will be much more useful to you if you practise them. You can have a fulfilled life by simply incorporating good habits into your daily activities.
Here are some of the good habits, in no particular order, that you can acquire to enhance your life. Most of them are developed in greater detail in this book. They were the one-line ideas and guidelines from which I started to write this book. I hope they are as useful to you. May these good habits empower you to really live your life to its fullest!
* Know your priorities
* Establish realistic goals and expectations
* Align your goals with your values
* Commit yourself with dedication
* Eat nutritious food
* Don't smoke or stop smoking
* Drink alcoholic beverages in moderation
* Exercise on a regular basis
* Smile and feel happy
* Greet people with a smile, handshake, kiss or a hug
* Develop and maintain a positive mental attitude
* Start and end your day with positive thoughts or thanksgiving prayers
* Do things you enjoy
* Be generous with compliments
* Enjoy the little things in life
* Cultivate humour and laugh at yourself
* Become a master of the fine art of listening
* Communicate using all your senses
* Practise to become a good public speaker
* Learn to negotiate through listening and communicating
* Be open and honest in your communication
* Be proactive and do important things first
* Be ready and willing to learn
* Learn a new word everyday
* Develop a sense of well-being and contentment
* Find your own balance
* Know your strengths and limitations
* Remind yourself to be positive and enthusiastic
* Adopt the qualities of healthy families
* Take delight in whom you love
* Cultivate teamwork and cooperation
* Learn to cope with adversity and failure
* Avoid frustrations and bursts of anger
* Learn to relax and enjoy the moment
* Treat yourself and your loved ones
* Nurture the love and affection for your family
* Count your blessings and be grateful for them
* Realize that your happiness lies within you
* Be honest and responsible
* Take control of your precious time
* Arrive on time for your appointments
* Honour your commitments and agreements
* Retain a long term perspective
* Let your actions speak for you
* Develop a good character
* Enhance your self-esteem
* Become your best friend
* Keep a personal journal
* Write down your thoughts, fear, and aspirations
* Use your instinct to your advantage
* Live within your means
* Manage your money
* Pay yourself first
* Learn to invest wisely
* Pay off your debts and mortgage early
* Beat the cost of living and save income tax
* Eliminate financial stress and worry
* Have a financial plan
* Be selective in your reading
* Read only the positive and important materials
* Visualize yourself as you want to become
* Plan and reassess your goals and objectives
* Commit to improve yourself with dedication
* Have the will to prepare
* Read inspirational books
* Use the public libraries
* Associate yourself with positive and wise people
* Develop a network of friends, business associates and mentors
* Profit from other people's experience and expertise
* Express your gratitude for any help you receive
* Seek models of successful people to follow in their footsteps
* Look at things and problems from different perspectives
* Think like a winner
* Use and challenge your brain
* Examine every idea you encounter before you adopt or discard it
* Develop your memory
* Feed your mind with positive thoughts and empowering beliefs
* Flex your paradigm
* Share your prosperity and knowledge
* Help people become successful
* Reach out to help somebody in need
* Search for the seed of good in every adversity
* Let your love flow
* See the good in everyone
* Share your many blessings with others
* Trust your intuition
* Treat every day as a special gift from God
* Become a peacemaker
* Do and give your best at all times
* Put all the good habits into practice
* Become your best
You are where you are and what you are today because of your choices and your established habits. You can change for the better by simply choosing to incorporate more good habits in your daily life.
Excerpt from my book: Become your Best
www.kintue-fee.com
All of us are creatures of habit. We all have good and bad habits. The challenge is to change bad habits into good ones. Habits are a combination of internalized principles, ways of thinking and doing, and lifestyle behaviours. Healthy habits can be learned by anyone who is willing to put in the necessary effort. You too can cultivate good habits that can enhance your life enormously if you have the discipline to pay attention to what you think and do. At first the implementation of any new habit is difficult and awkward, and demands a lot of effort. After some persistent repetition, you will find it easier and eventually the habit becomes almost effortless to put into practice. Habits become a part of your nature by willpower, practice and repetition. Cultivate good habits to the point that they become second nature. People with a wide range of winning habits are likely to have more effective responses in their repertoire. Successful people understand the importance of good habits and religiously practise them in their daily process of living. You must remain alert to the effects of your habits to ensure that they are still serving a useful purpose. Be ready and willing to change your old bad habits and embrace new winning ones which will serve you better. Try substitution. For example, instead of a chocolate bar, have an apple for a snack. Be committed and force yourself to hold tight to the new habits for at least 21 consecutive days. Let the good habits be the little extras you choose to do. Think how much difference the incorporation of a repertoire of winning habits can make to your life, say five years from now. Let your imagination and visualization motivate you to put them into practice right now.
Much of our behaviours and habits are so well developed that they become automatic responses. It is important that we choose and develop good habits when we are young rather than to change bad habits when we are older because breaking bad habits is very difficult. Just look at the millions of people who know that smoking is bad for their health. They know that every cigarette they smoke can potentially reduce their life expectancy by approximately fourteen minutes. They are desperate to give it up but find it almost impossible to break the addiction. Many people also have temporary bad habits which are perpetuated by fuss, punishment and encouragement which may pass away of themselves if left unnoticed. To change entrenched bad habits, one has to put a lot of effort into spotting the triggering process, stopping the automatic response, and substituting more appropriate behaviour. People with bad habits due to serious addiction such as drug abuse, smoking and drinking problems, need to seek help right away.
Make your habits serve you, not the other way around. Ask yourself whether any habit is contributing to your well-being or not. If you change your habit, what will be your positive benefit? So long as you are hanging on to habits that are not enhancing your life, you are limiting your potential. It is within your power to cultivate the habit of reminding yourself that you can make wiser choices. Make it a daily habit to read materials which expand your mind. A good habit worth stressing is to laugh at yourself and with yourself. Don't take yourself too seriously. Laughing at yourself is a good way of acknowledging your imperfections and humanness. Get in the habit of surrounding yourself with positive minded, effective and wise people. All the principles and advice in this book will be much more useful to you if you practise them. You can have a fulfilled life by simply incorporating good habits into your daily activities.
Here are some of the good habits, in no particular order, that you can acquire to enhance your life. Most of them are developed in greater detail in this book. They were the one-line ideas and guidelines from which I started to write this book. I hope they are as useful to you. May these good habits empower you to really live your life to its fullest!
* Know your priorities
* Establish realistic goals and expectations
* Align your goals with your values
* Commit yourself with dedication
* Eat nutritious food
* Don't smoke or stop smoking
* Drink alcoholic beverages in moderation
* Exercise on a regular basis
* Smile and feel happy
* Greet people with a smile, handshake, kiss or a hug
* Develop and maintain a positive mental attitude
* Start and end your day with positive thoughts or thanksgiving prayers
* Do things you enjoy
* Be generous with compliments
* Enjoy the little things in life
* Cultivate humour and laugh at yourself
* Become a master of the fine art of listening
* Communicate using all your senses
* Practise to become a good public speaker
* Learn to negotiate through listening and communicating
* Be open and honest in your communication
* Be proactive and do important things first
* Be ready and willing to learn
* Learn a new word everyday
* Develop a sense of well-being and contentment
* Find your own balance
* Know your strengths and limitations
* Remind yourself to be positive and enthusiastic
* Adopt the qualities of healthy families
* Take delight in whom you love
* Cultivate teamwork and cooperation
* Learn to cope with adversity and failure
* Avoid frustrations and bursts of anger
* Learn to relax and enjoy the moment
* Treat yourself and your loved ones
* Nurture the love and affection for your family
* Count your blessings and be grateful for them
* Realize that your happiness lies within you
* Be honest and responsible
* Take control of your precious time
* Arrive on time for your appointments
* Honour your commitments and agreements
* Retain a long term perspective
* Let your actions speak for you
* Develop a good character
* Enhance your self-esteem
* Become your best friend
* Keep a personal journal
* Write down your thoughts, fear, and aspirations
* Use your instinct to your advantage
* Live within your means
* Manage your money
* Pay yourself first
* Learn to invest wisely
* Pay off your debts and mortgage early
* Beat the cost of living and save income tax
* Eliminate financial stress and worry
* Have a financial plan
* Be selective in your reading
* Read only the positive and important materials
* Visualize yourself as you want to become
* Plan and reassess your goals and objectives
* Commit to improve yourself with dedication
* Have the will to prepare
* Read inspirational books
* Use the public libraries
* Associate yourself with positive and wise people
* Develop a network of friends, business associates and mentors
* Profit from other people's experience and expertise
* Express your gratitude for any help you receive
* Seek models of successful people to follow in their footsteps
* Look at things and problems from different perspectives
* Think like a winner
* Use and challenge your brain
* Examine every idea you encounter before you adopt or discard it
* Develop your memory
* Feed your mind with positive thoughts and empowering beliefs
* Flex your paradigm
* Share your prosperity and knowledge
* Help people become successful
* Reach out to help somebody in need
* Search for the seed of good in every adversity
* Let your love flow
* See the good in everyone
* Share your many blessings with others
* Trust your intuition
* Treat every day as a special gift from God
* Become a peacemaker
* Do and give your best at all times
* Put all the good habits into practice
* Become your best
You are where you are and what you are today because of your choices and your established habits. You can change for the better by simply choosing to incorporate more good habits in your daily life.
Excerpt from my book: Become your Best
www.kintue-fee.com
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Inspire and Motivate Yourself
INSPIRE AND MOTIVATE YOURSELF
Through daily affirmations, visualizations, and inspirations you can motivate yourself to grow spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. Self-inspiration and motivation take a lot of practice but they are skills that can be learned. They give you the discipline and resilience to try harder when everybody else is about to quit. They strengthen your resolve to improve yourself in areas of your choice and reward you with self-esteem and confidence among other things.
It's hard to feel motivated to do anything if you can't see any reward for your effort. Visualize the rewards of becoming more self-confident: the power of believing in yourself, the feeling of accomplishment, the healthy self-esteem you'll have, the respect others will have for you, the rewarding relationships you'll enjoy, the opportunity you'll attract, and so on. Imagine yourself at a business meeting, feeling certain to be able to respond to the demands of the moment in the most effective way you know. Tell yourself you are confident in your ability to deal with new situations as they arise. Feel the sense of confidence in being able to scan any situation, think on your feet and deal with the issue in whatever way you determine is best for your own needs and purposes. You can be inspired and motivated to put in the extra effort today by focusing on the future rewards.
Look at everyday as an opportunity to explore your world for the sake of learning something new and meaningful. Get to know your wants and needs very well. Use your personal mission statement to inspire and motivate you to go ahead with your goals and purpose in life. Look at all the goals you have already achieved so far in your life for inspiration and motivation. When you find an inspirational quote that means something to you, remember to write it down and use it to motivate you. Keep a notebook handy to record the things you hear and read that inspire and motivate you. Meaningful quotes can change as you get on with your life. The best affirmations are the ones you compose for yourself. Write your own affirmations and inspirational phrases based on your current philosophy, beliefs and values. Make a positive statement on something that is beginning to happen in your life. Try to incorporate the eight most inspirational and motivational words used by lots of successful people: I am, I can, I will, I believe.
I am a worthy person who is contributing to society,
I can develop loving relationships,
I will always help others in anyway I can,
I believe in the teachings of ........ e.g. spiritual leaders.
Make your own meaningful slogans and motivational quotations. Repeat the phrases over and over for a long period of time with enthusiasm until they, together with your philosophy and values, eventually become part of your belief system. Through this conscious programming you can give yourself inspirational and motivational messages automatically. Through repetition of these thoughts in your mind and by taking action in alignment with them, you can make behavioural changes in yourself. These changes can be as subtle as becoming more comfortable with yourself, improving your relationships or developing a more positive attitude toward life. The possibilities are limitless. Try to keep the phrases short, simple and meaningful. Select one or two messages to start with, depending on what is most important to you at the moment, and make it part of you. It is very effective to repeat the inspirational and motivational messages just before you go to sleep. Repetition is important, do it every day to develop the habit and make it part of your life. Remember that repetitive conscious programming without actively practising what you believe in is not going to be very effective. You have to be participating actively in creating an environment, relationship or behavioural changes which reflect your inspirational and motivational messages.
Read inspirational books and get motivated to better yourself. Look for role models, mentors and positive people that can reinforce your motivation for self-actualization. Join fitness clubs, public speaking groups, discussion groups on spirituality and any other association that can motivate you to develop yourself further. When you feel down, try to recapture the times when you were creative, appreciated, and rewarded for your effort. Think about those times in which you have felt most fully human and alive: being kind and helpful with no thought of return, overcoming your fear, and being filled with pride for something you did. Excite your imagination and inspire your creative vision with your enthusiasm. Use your positive attitude and self-esteem as a driving force for inspiring and motivating yourself. Keep telling yourself and, more importantly, believing that you are a worthy person who has a lot to contribute during your lifetime. Remind yourself that you are responsible for your well-being and you have the resources to do it.
Keep a personal journal to record your thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams. Commit your objectives to paper, write your goals in it. Make sure you record the goals you have achieved in it too. List your values, skills, strengths and interests in it. In your journal, write about your ideal life. Keeping a journal is an invaluable tool for recording your personal growth and development. Occasionally, read over what you have written for it can inspire and motivate you when you realize how much you have progressed along the way.
Excerpt from my book: Become your best
www.kintue-fee.com
Through daily affirmations, visualizations, and inspirations you can motivate yourself to grow spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. Self-inspiration and motivation take a lot of practice but they are skills that can be learned. They give you the discipline and resilience to try harder when everybody else is about to quit. They strengthen your resolve to improve yourself in areas of your choice and reward you with self-esteem and confidence among other things.
It's hard to feel motivated to do anything if you can't see any reward for your effort. Visualize the rewards of becoming more self-confident: the power of believing in yourself, the feeling of accomplishment, the healthy self-esteem you'll have, the respect others will have for you, the rewarding relationships you'll enjoy, the opportunity you'll attract, and so on. Imagine yourself at a business meeting, feeling certain to be able to respond to the demands of the moment in the most effective way you know. Tell yourself you are confident in your ability to deal with new situations as they arise. Feel the sense of confidence in being able to scan any situation, think on your feet and deal with the issue in whatever way you determine is best for your own needs and purposes. You can be inspired and motivated to put in the extra effort today by focusing on the future rewards.
Look at everyday as an opportunity to explore your world for the sake of learning something new and meaningful. Get to know your wants and needs very well. Use your personal mission statement to inspire and motivate you to go ahead with your goals and purpose in life. Look at all the goals you have already achieved so far in your life for inspiration and motivation. When you find an inspirational quote that means something to you, remember to write it down and use it to motivate you. Keep a notebook handy to record the things you hear and read that inspire and motivate you. Meaningful quotes can change as you get on with your life. The best affirmations are the ones you compose for yourself. Write your own affirmations and inspirational phrases based on your current philosophy, beliefs and values. Make a positive statement on something that is beginning to happen in your life. Try to incorporate the eight most inspirational and motivational words used by lots of successful people: I am, I can, I will, I believe.
I am a worthy person who is contributing to society,
I can develop loving relationships,
I will always help others in anyway I can,
I believe in the teachings of ........ e.g. spiritual leaders.
Make your own meaningful slogans and motivational quotations. Repeat the phrases over and over for a long period of time with enthusiasm until they, together with your philosophy and values, eventually become part of your belief system. Through this conscious programming you can give yourself inspirational and motivational messages automatically. Through repetition of these thoughts in your mind and by taking action in alignment with them, you can make behavioural changes in yourself. These changes can be as subtle as becoming more comfortable with yourself, improving your relationships or developing a more positive attitude toward life. The possibilities are limitless. Try to keep the phrases short, simple and meaningful. Select one or two messages to start with, depending on what is most important to you at the moment, and make it part of you. It is very effective to repeat the inspirational and motivational messages just before you go to sleep. Repetition is important, do it every day to develop the habit and make it part of your life. Remember that repetitive conscious programming without actively practising what you believe in is not going to be very effective. You have to be participating actively in creating an environment, relationship or behavioural changes which reflect your inspirational and motivational messages.
Read inspirational books and get motivated to better yourself. Look for role models, mentors and positive people that can reinforce your motivation for self-actualization. Join fitness clubs, public speaking groups, discussion groups on spirituality and any other association that can motivate you to develop yourself further. When you feel down, try to recapture the times when you were creative, appreciated, and rewarded for your effort. Think about those times in which you have felt most fully human and alive: being kind and helpful with no thought of return, overcoming your fear, and being filled with pride for something you did. Excite your imagination and inspire your creative vision with your enthusiasm. Use your positive attitude and self-esteem as a driving force for inspiring and motivating yourself. Keep telling yourself and, more importantly, believing that you are a worthy person who has a lot to contribute during your lifetime. Remind yourself that you are responsible for your well-being and you have the resources to do it.
Keep a personal journal to record your thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams. Commit your objectives to paper, write your goals in it. Make sure you record the goals you have achieved in it too. List your values, skills, strengths and interests in it. In your journal, write about your ideal life. Keeping a journal is an invaluable tool for recording your personal growth and development. Occasionally, read over what you have written for it can inspire and motivate you when you realize how much you have progressed along the way.
Excerpt from my book: Become your best
www.kintue-fee.com
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