tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55612636217650586812024-03-04T23:44:24.571-08:00Become your BestKin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-1380984131695649532014-12-21T05:48:00.001-08:002014-12-24T19:17:09.097-08:00Hawaiian Teachings of Ho’oponopono<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGjW0YT7hcTddWOYBsTJBbwFfMez46MwQw5xgHFib66xMRPtG6hlJt072ogQFSXssspL4eXmeYkfUwektKpSW_-aUZsVIyKBKmYJITi8JZRVZCnK2LNP3y0uEfOPlobaRJLydQ_X1xUWJR/s1600/ho'oponopono.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGjW0YT7hcTddWOYBsTJBbwFfMez46MwQw5xgHFib66xMRPtG6hlJt072ogQFSXssspL4eXmeYkfUwektKpSW_-aUZsVIyKBKmYJITi8JZRVZCnK2LNP3y0uEfOPlobaRJLydQ_X1xUWJR/s1600/ho'oponopono.jpg" height="320" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I bet most of you haven’t heard of Ho’oponopono. I did not
learn about it myself until I attended a workshop in Cape Town, South Africa on
February 2014. What is Ho’oponopono? It is a traditional spiritual Hawaiian
healing process of letting go of toxic energies and memories within you to
allow the impact of divine thoughts, words, deeds and actions. It a healing and
cleansing process that removes the mental obstacles that block your path,
freeing your mind to find new and inspirational ways to get what you want out
of life.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In his best-selling book, ZERO LIMITS, Joe Vitale told the
story of Dr. Hew Len, the master teacher of modern Ho’oponopono. <span style="color: #333333; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">More than thirty years ago in Hawaii, at the Hawaii State
Hospital, there was a special ward, a clinic for the mentally ill criminals.</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 107%;"> T</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">he officials of this ward sought out Dr. Hew Len to
assist in the rehabilitation of these criminals and violent offenders. Dr. Hew
Len agreed, and asked for the files of about a dozen of the most uncooperative
and violent criminals in this particular ward. Without seeing any of the
offenders, I started to cleanse himself and to pray for the dozen criminals,
using only four powerful phrases: I am sorry; Please forgive me; I love you;
and Thank you.</span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After a few weeks, the officials started to see some
positive changes in the offenders assigned to Dr. Hew Len. After several
months, some of them made so much progress that they were released. He took on
more files of other criminals. <span style="color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Dr. Hew Len worked there close to four years. In the end, there
remained only a couple of inmates that were relocated somewhere else and the
clinic for the mentally insane criminals had to close. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have personally used the teachings of Ho’oponopono. I
cleanse myself constantly by repeating: I love you; Please forgive me; I am
sorry; and Thank you to myself whenever I can. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By the way, you can say these four phrases in
any order that make sense to you. The result after about a year is that I am experiencing
more peace of mind, contentment, health and wealth. This is the most worthwhile
thing that I have done for my wellbeing for a long time. It is the best advice
I have to share with you at this time. Check it out for yourself, and discover
the amazing power of this ancient Hawaiian spiritual teachings.</span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What is the best teaching/principle you have implemented
successfully in your life? Please share it with us so that we all can benefit.</span></div>
<br />
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<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">www.kintue-fee.com</span></div>
<a class="twitter-timeline-link" data-expanded-url="http://kintue-fee.com" dir="ltr" href="http://t.co/ZamkBBtzXG" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" title="http://kintue-fee.com"><span class="js-display-url"><span style="color: #0084b4;"></span></span><span class="invisible"><br /></span></a>Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-55210232963189052102014-11-30T07:43:00.001-08:002014-11-30T07:46:47.880-08:00The illusion of control in relationshipsThe desire to control our relationships occurs in everyone’s life with
varying degree and intensity. Not only do we want to control our life,
sometimes we also want to control the behaviours of others. So often when we
choose relationships, we try to fit another person into our predetermined
ideal.<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> </span>We
think we can change or “fix” others. Well, we really can’t. At best we can only
change ourselves.<br />
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<br />
Some people mistake the control over one’s own destiny and the destiny of
others as being a necessary condition for ensuring their happiness and
contentment. These people tend to be control freaks. They want to control
everything, and in so doing they drive you crazy. They can be an overbearing
father, an overprotective mother, an autocratic boss, a manipulative friend, or
a jealous spouse. These are people who want to change you and your behaviours.
They want to tell you what to do, and if they could they would run your life. <br />
<br /><br />
<br />
<br />
We all have some tendency to influence others so that they will see things
from our point of view. Everything is fine when people agree with us, and when
our values and beliefs systems coincide. Once there is difference of opinions
and conflicts, the relationship is in distress. It’s much more difficult to
have the habit of putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes. To have
healthy interactions, we need to develop relationships based on mutual love and
trust. When there is disagreement, try to find a win-win solution.<br />
<br /><br />
<br />
<br />
Learn when to combat the control that others want to impose on you, and when
to accommodate them to create respectful and trustful relationships. Be
assertive and don’t let control freaks dominate or victimize you. At the same
time, be flexible, think in terms of preference rather than in terms of must
have or must be like that. Accept and embrace your healthy relationships
without preconceived ideas and conditions.<br />
<br /><br />
<br />
How are you doing in your relationships? Do you think you are in control of your
relationships? <br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.kintue-fee.com/"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.kintue-fee.com/</span></a><br />
<br />Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-894683804755910472014-10-27T20:42:00.003-07:002014-10-27T20:42:31.736-07:00BECOME WHO YOU WANT TO BE<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25pt; margin-left: -.2pt; margin-right: 2.5pt; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: 36.2pt;">
Even though life can be difficult and
complex, effective people strive to be their best selves most of the time each
day. There are no formulas and no easy answers for everything in life. You
simply can’t go through life without failures and disappointments. You can’t
invest in relationships and think that you will never get hurt, have
misgivings, or make mistakes. This is part of the process of growing, learning,
caring, letting people be and leading a steady and purposeful life. You are the
sum total of your experiences up to now. As your experiences multiply with
time, you grow and become a different and, hopefully, wiser person. Your
perspective will change over the years.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Are you ready to live the life you’ve
always dreamed of? If your answer is yes, read my book,<b><i> BECOME YOUR BEST. </i></b>Take
responsibility for your life and apply the principles and techniques outlined
in this book. <b><i>BECOME YOUR BEST</i></b> draws from my experience and those of other
experts, providing a practical and effective approach to living a more
meaningful and fulfilling life. No matter where you’re starting from, you can
work at creating a life that you truly love. Consider the possibility of living
a fully integrated life – physically, emotionally, mentally, socially,
financially and spiritually.<o:p></o:p></div>
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If you want to lead a meaningful,
purposeful and fulfilled life, you need to make wise choices. Your choices
cause results. You reap what you sow; you can make better choices and have
better results. For example, if you want to become a better public speaker,
then you could choose to join a Toastmaster club near your city. All these
choices need you to take decisive actions. They take efforts and commitment on
your part. I know that only about 5% to 10% of the readers of this book will
actually check out Toastmasters International. The other 90% to 95% people will
find some excuses for not being able to do so. Instead of giving up, you need
to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, and something to
inspire you. It is only through perseverance and some sacrifice that effective
people succeed in life. Be one of them, and become who you want to be.<o:p></o:p></div>
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On
your way to becoming who you want to be, ensure that you are in alignment with
your core beliefs and values. Do your best to live with integrity, and to live
an authentic and purposeful life.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Excerpt
from my book,<b><i> BECOME YOUR BEST.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>www.kintue-fee.com</i></b><o:p></o:p></div>
Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-61607859810952896432014-10-10T12:21:00.000-07:002014-10-10T12:21:24.646-07:00Why I published two books in 2014I published two of my books in 2014. Notice that I did not say I wrote two books in 2014. Recently I completely updated my bestseller: <b><i>Become your Best</i></b>. In addition, I also got it translated into French: <b><i>Realisez votre plein potentiel.</i></b><br />
<br />
In March 2014, I self-published them in Mauritius. Why were they printed and published in Mauritius. Well, because I have a very good friend who has a good printing business in Mauritrius. Through my contacts, I had a lot of publicity in the newspapers and on radio in Mauritius. <b><i>Become your Best</i></b> was already a bestseller in Mauritius after it was first published in 1997. As most people in Mauritius speak French, I was advised to translate my book. It took me over sixteen years until my recent retirement to finally embark on my book translation project. <b><i>Realisez votre plein potentiel</i></b> is selling very well and is also projected to become a bestseller in Mauritius too.<br />
<br />
Why did I write and translate my book? For the simple reason that I needed to learn and research the principles of personal management and development for myself all these years ago. It took me eight years from my first writing to publishing it in 1997. To date, I have not seen a book which has as much practical and useful advice, techniques and strategies on how to make the most of your life as my book: <b><i>Become your Best.</i></b> That's why I updated it and published it again in March 2014.<br />
<br />
These two books and my third book, <b><i>Putting People First,</i></b> are available in Mauritius at BookCourt and Le Cygne. You can also purchase them from me directly: http://www.kintue-fee.comKin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-90645955966620604042014-09-25T16:15:00.000-07:002014-09-25T16:15:12.857-07:00Seek and find your purpose in life<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Most people have not spend enough time to seek and
find their purpose in life. The majority of people in the world are still surviving
and struggling to make a living. Most of them don’t have the luxury of thinking
about their purpose in life. It seems to them that their purpose in life is simply
to put food on the table and make sure there is a shelter above their heads. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">For those of you who have fulfilled all your
survival needs, you are most probably seeking to lead a meaningful, purposeful
and fulfilling life. Have you find your purpose in life?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">First of all, what do we mean when we talk about our
purpose in life? Purpose in life is basically the intrinsic desire in people to
have a positive impact on themselves and circle of influence, and to share
their values and passion with others. Everybody has a universal need for
purpose, a sense of accomplishment and happiness in their relationships, workplaces and life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">So how can you seek and find your purpose in life? Firstly,
start by making a full inventory of all the assets you possess, not just
financial assets. Determine what are your strengths, skills and talents. Know who your loved ones, friends and network of
contacts are, and who you can count on. Determine what really matters for you i.e. your top priorities and passion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Secondly, know what a meaning, purposeful and
fulfilled life would look and feel like at the end of your life. You can
visualize yourself at your eightieth birthday. All your loved ones and friends
have gathered together to celebrate your birthday. Imagine your partner in life
speaking to the gathering and telling everybody how you are as a partner.
Similarly imagine what your son or daughter, best friend, ex-boss, neighbour,
and someone your have helped would say about you at that occasion. Of course,
you have to feel tears of joy in your eyes and happiness in your heart from
what you imagine hearing from all these people. If you write it all down, you
would certainly know what your core values are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">By knowing all your assets, priorities, passion, and
core beliefs and values, you can then formulate your mission statement and
purpose in life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">My purpose in life is to become my best in all
aspects of my life in order to help out my loved ones and circle of influence
with love and gratitude, without imposing my views and beliefs on them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Have you determine your purpose in life? How did you
seek and find it? Would you like to share your purpose in life with us? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">www.kintue-fee.com</span></b></div>
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Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-22873960082769013212014-07-11T14:09:00.002-07:002014-07-12T05:57:16.506-07:00Develop your self-confidence<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
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<span lang="EN-US"> We all have
confidence. It is just a question of cultivating it and nurturing it. If you
grow up in a home where praise, encouragement and caring are the rule, then you
are more likely to have confidence in yourself. Confidence is a measure of a
person's self-assuredness. It springs from self-esteem, knowledge, ability,
skills, discipline, tenacity and perseverance. It does not mean boosting or
bragging or being arrogant. Self-confidence is the calm conviction that you can
achieve whatever you set out to do. It does not mean that you need to know
everything and be capable of doing it all by yourself. Developing
self-confidence means adopting good practices in thinking, speaking and
behaving. It is strongly reinforced by a sense of achievement and by positive
feedback from others. You develop confidence by setting a goal and achieving
it, and by making a promise and keeping it, one at a time. You build
self-confidence by having the ability to set and achieve meaningful goals, by
fulfilling your needs, by keeping your promises, by acting with integrity and
courage. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"> Like most people,
you have some self-doubts about your capabilities and potential. In the past,
you made mistakes, had failure and rejection, and did not live up to your
expectations. Don't let these shortcomings erode your confidence. You can
rebuild your self-confidence by putting power in your commitment and focusing
your mental energy on your immediate goal. If you don't have confidence in
yourself, how can you expect anyone else to have confidence in you. If you lose
confidence in yourself eventually others lose their confidence in you too. You
hold certain values, beliefs and principles to which you are committed. As a
result, you have an inner purpose around which you make your decisions. You need
to become a person with integrity and conviction who can make courageous
decisions to change your life for the better. Confidence in yourself gives you
the strength to make good ethical decisions despite pressure to act otherwise.
It is very easy to give up but it takes courage and strength to be caring and
yet firm, and to do what you know you ought to do. As you look toward the
decisions you would like to make to change your life, have the confidence and
the courage to act on them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"> There are two powerful
concepts: Faith and Fear. If you have faith in yourself, in your abilities and
in your future then you also have self-confidence and courage. It is essential
that you have faith in your resourcefulness to do whatever you need to do. You
may not know how to replace your car brakes, but you know a good mechanic or
garage service. You may not know how to resolve an issue at work, but you are
confident that you can get some smart assistance from your mentor or members of
your network. You may not know how you are going to cope with the recent news
of your cancer, but you have faith that you will survive it with God’s grace
and positive mental attitude.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US">“Faith is taking the first
step even when you don’t see the whole staircase”.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span lang="EN-US">Martin Luther King<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"> If you allow fear
to creep in your life, the fear you can’t do something can wipe out your faith
and self-confidence. The reason so many people are not confident in themselves
is that it hurts to keep on trying when their efforts always seem to fail. The
fear of failure sets in. Acknowledge and accept your fears rather than ignore
or deny them. To build self-confidence, you need to be willing to push through
the discomforting barriers and to act despite your feelings. It is through the
experience of overcoming your fears that you will make the most strides in
enhancing your self-confidence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"> The act of striving
and persevering in face of obstacles provides a sense of satisfaction and pride
that promotes confidence. It takes strength and endurance to keep on trying and
doing what you know you ought to do when the going is rough. It's much easier
to give up and quit. During your period of weakness, self-defeating behaviors
and negative self-talk can come back to haunt you. Don't replay the memories of
past failures, disappointments and mistakes. It robs you of your
self-confidence. Recognize that we all experienced failures at one time or
another, even the most successful people. You can expect problems, setbacks and
changes in circumstances, but you don't have to agonize over them and live in
fear of them. When changes happen, look for what else is possible and choose
the most viable alternatives. View the obstacles as opportunities from which to
learn and grow rather than events to be feared. Have faith in yourself. It
frees your mind from the self imposed limitations of doubt, fear and
discouragement. Faith provides you with the courage, inspiration and
self-reliance you need to live life purposefully. Give yourself permission to
take reasonable risks and accept responsibility for mistakes. Start taking
small calculated risks and venturing occasionally into the unknown. Be alert
and prepared for head-on encounters. It's by striving to overcome obstacles as
they arise that you build your self-confidence. Fear or faith, failure or
success, you have to choose which path you want to follow. Never allow fear to
rule your life, always have faith in yourself. Acting with confidence can break
vicious cycles of fear. This can be a hard inner struggle but if you follow the
principles outlined in this book, you will come out a winner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"> Be humble in the
presence of superior knowledge and intellect, be willing to learn by asking
questions. Look for and associate with positive and confident people. It is
very empowering to have the support and energy of understanding and motivated
friends. You can have a positive influence in each others' process of growing
and confidence building. Keep visualizing your best moments, the times when you
conquered fear, were totally confident, and felt successful. No matter how few
these good moments were, don't let them die. By remembering these moments of
triumphs you slowly build your own self-confidence. Trust the worth you have
placed upon yourself. The confidence other people have in you reinforces your
confidence in yourself. Confidence breeds more confidence. You then have the
courage to take more challenges and make major decisions in your life. You can
start to stretch your capabilities and your comfort zone. When you take charge
of your life through choices and decisions, you receive powerful boosts to your
self-esteem and self-confidence. Making a decision and implementing it builds
confidence. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"> Try to express your
courage and confidence not because you have no fear, but in spite of your fear.
Even when you don't really feel confident, act as if you have confidence. When
you act despite uncertainty and lack of confidence, you reinforce risk-taking
and perseverance. Have the courage to decide what you want to do about your
life. Have the ability to overcome the obstacles facing you and move ahead to
something better. Be assertive when interacting with other people. Don't say
anything that would be contrary to your true intentions. You do not need to be
aggressive to assert yourself. It has been shown that assertive behavior is
very effective when accompanied by a smile. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"> A lively and positive faith is extremely
important for a happy and serene existence. Faith is belief that help is
forthcoming when it is needed. It is belief in guidance in time of perplexity
and in courage when pain and suffering strike. Have the attitude and conviction
that for everything lost there is something to be gained. Confident people are
strong enough to admit their mistakes and to be honest. By your courage, openness
and honesty, you will experience rewarding relationships, personal growth and
happiness as well as some pains. By building your confidence you become less
afraid of fear, of emotional pain, of taking risks and of making mistakes. As
you find the courage to be honest and to open yourself to others you start to
respect yourself and others as fellow human beings. Your life unfolds and
develops based on the confidence you place in yourself and in all that you do. Become aware that you are able to develop your self-confidence.</span><br />
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Now it's your turn to share how you develop your confidence.</div>
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Excerpt from my book: BECOME YOUR BEST</div>
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<span lang="EN-US">http://kintue-fee.com<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-40326456551932605382014-06-18T04:33:00.001-07:002014-06-18T04:33:09.835-07:00Make your money work for you.<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; line-height: 23.99305534362793px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Yes, we may need to work sometimes 40 to 60 hours a week for our own and family needs. However, you will rarely become financially independent or wealthy by exchanging your time for money. You need to live within your means, and save and invest some of your money. This is how you are going to get ahead financially.</div>
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Once you have paid your debts and have some money in the bank for emergencies, you invest the rest of your money. You need to educate yourself on the best investments available for you. Or you may ask advice from a good financial advisor. There are bank savings, GICs, bonds, mutual funds, stocks, precious metals, real estates and others. Depending on your situation and risk tolerance, you can choose what types of savings and investments that are more appropriate for you. Then watch you money works for you and your financial assets grow.</div>
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Please share what investments have worked best for you.</div>
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http://kintue-fee.com</div>
Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-36801384610268467932014-04-29T15:07:00.001-07:002014-04-29T15:07:19.853-07:00Get hired in the competitive job market<header class="entry-header" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #444444; font-family: 'Open Sans', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 14px; margin: 0px 0px 1.714285714rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; clear: both; font-size: 1.571428571rem; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
GET HIRED IN THE COMPETITIVE JOB MARKET</h1>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.714285714;"> One of the most important decision you will make in your adult life is choosing a job that meet your interests and expectations. You need to know what you like to do, what your interests are and what skills and knowledge you have. The art of finding a job is knowing how to sell yourself by using what you have to your best advantage.</span></div>
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During the last decade, the job market has changed radically. On one hand, people are not content to stick to a job for a long time and are moving around from job to job. On the other hand, organizations are always reengineering and as a consequence there are more people being laid off. By now, most of us realize that a cradle-to-grave job is out the window along with regular raises. Approximately one quarter to one third of all jobs are in transition. The average worker can expect to change jobs six to ten times and careers two to four times. It seems that jobs are disappearing faster than new jobs are being created. There may be a shortage of jobs, but there is always an abundance of work to be done and therefore lots of opportunities. Although the unemployment rate is relatively high, there is still plenty of opportunities for people with the right attitude, entrepreneurial spirit and the willingness to contribute to get hired. If your job isn’t giving you the satisfaction you are looking for, it’s time to invest a few hours reflecting on what would bring you more fulfillment. Even if you are comfortable with your work, when an opportunity presents itself you could still move on to do something even more interesting and challenging. Look for opportunities and take them as they arise.</div>
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In planning your career, you need to have a clear idea of the sort of job you would like to do. Do you like to use your hands to make things? Are you a self-starter with lots of initiatives and enterpreneurial spirit? Do you like to work with people? Do you like investigative work and to deliver high quality products? Whatever your preference, you need to know it. If you have difficulty in making decisions about your career choice, talk to a friend, spouse, mentor or career counselor. Find out what the growth industries are out there. Presently, there is a great demand for nurses and post traumatic stress counselors in North America. Technology and computer companies are still growing and hiring. If you are interested in a career in technology for example, use every opportunity to build a foundation to make your way in the technology-infused world.</div>
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Set realistic targets and work toward them with a positive attitude, discipline and enthusiasm. As you get to know more about your job and gain experience, you can begin to plan further ahead. In your early years, you must be prepared to move around to learn and gain experience, as well as to take more than you think you can handle. Be prepared to change your plans if necessary and be flexible in your attitude. Gain confidence by doing your work, whatever it is, to the best of your ability and believe in yourself. Your perseverance in looking for the right job and determination to keep going until you achieve your goal will make the difference between finding a job or not.</div>
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More and more organizations are looking for the right people at the right time with the right skills and right culture fit. Nowadays, organizations are likely to base hiring decisions more on skills than on past job titles. Many technical skills become obsolete with progress in technology. Organizations of the future will need people with generalist skills. Employers are seeking people with the following generic skills:</div>
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<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">the ability to take responsibility;</em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">the ability to communicate and to manage information;</em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">the ability to learn continuously and think critically;</em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">the ability to solve problems analytically and make decisions;</em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">the ability to direct teams, motivate others and meet objectives;</em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">the ability to work on a team to plan and accomplish goals;</em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">the ability to design, plan, research and investigate;</em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">the ability to set priorities and meet deadlines;</em></li>
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Employers are seeking people with the following qualities:</div>
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<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">positive attitude;</li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">self-confidence;</li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">willingness to accept challenges;</em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">adaptability and flexibility;</em></li>
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In short it is very competitive out there and you need to sharpen your skills, competencies and qualities to market yourself and get hired. It is important that you ask yourself if you are achieving the goals you really want and if you are doing the things necessary to become your best in your chosen profession. Self-analysis is needed on a regular basis to evaluate whether your performance and skills measure up to your own standard and the organization’s needs. The core competencies that are always in demand include such skills as leadership, communication, problem-solving, analytical and strategic thinking, negotiating, planning and organizing. Being competent is more than simply acquiring a skill, knowledge or experience, it is using and applying them in your workplace to your advantage in order to meet your business needs. You have to develop the creative thinking ability to see the desired goal and plot a course to get from here to there. Strength in these core competencies gives you an edge over competitors and makes you a desirable asset for any organization.</div>
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Before you can gain experience and have a chance to contribute in a job, you have to get one first. This takes time, energy and perseverance, but there are techniques and strategies that can give you a head start. The following list of suggestions may be useful if you are looking for a job.</div>
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<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Set your job targets.</strong> Determine and specify what types of jobs you want and the salary you expect to earn. List your most important job target criteria: what you need and what you want. Be realistic and stay flexible. Formulate your job targets to take advantage of your skills, past experience and qualities.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Have an action plan.</strong> Make a list of companies you are interested in and any other potential employers. Make a list of contacts and network effectively. Establish a job search routine. Make a schedule of tasks: phoning contacts to establish leads only, not to ask for jobs.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Track down job leads.</strong> Track down all job leads that are of interest to you or have potential. The more obvious ones are: career section in newspapers, magazines, personnel agencies and recruiters. The best sources of job leads are friends, colleagues, ex-colleagues and relatives. </li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Prepare yourself well.</strong> Research the field and companies you are targeting thoroughly using libraries and other available resources. Classify your job target criteria into requirement and preference. Prepare and update your résumé. Practise your job hunting techniques with the companies at the bottom of your preference list. This gives you an opportunity to sharpen your skills on the job leads that you are least interested in. If you succeed in getting a job right away, you may consider it as a temporary job until you get a better one.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Focus your effort on your best prospects.</strong> Customize your résumé for the job leads that interest you most. Make it appealing to your potential employers by showing you in the best possible light. Ask a competent person to evaluate it for objectivity. Emphasize your education, strengths, accomplishments and work experience that you anticipate they are looking for. Find out who is the person who has the authority to make you an offer. Send your résumé directly to him or her with a copy to the personnel manager. Get as many interviews as you can.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Develop the ability to sell yourself.</strong> Know your strengths and weaknesses. A positive attitude, enthusiasm and resourcefulness are good selling points in the job stakes. Relate your qualifications, experience, skills and qualities to the needs and relevance of your potential employers. Put yourself in the shoes of the employer looking to fill a job.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Prepare yourself for the interviews.</strong> Research and learn as much about your potential employers including their products and services, their strengths and weaknesses, and their needs and expectations. Prepare yourself for interviews by rehearsing some specific questions you are likely to be asked. Anticipate the needs of your potential employer and be prepared to relate your strengths, skills, accomplishments and experience to their needs and expectations. Have a list of carefully chosen references available if asked.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Sell yourself at the interview.</strong> Win the interview performance by selling yourself. Create an immediate rapport and connection with the interviewer(s) by providing good first impressions like a firm handshake, making eye contact when speaking and listening, and appearing relaxed and confident. The easiest way to sell yourself is to convey your passion for what you do. Highlight your experience, skills, strengths and accomplishments that are important to the interviewer(s). Convince your interviewer(s) that you can and are willing to do the job, and can fit in with the company’s organization and their corporate culture.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2.571428571rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Believe in yourself.</strong> Whatever the outcome of the interview, have faith and confidence that you will get hired and achieve what you want. If you have a disappointment, try to keep up your morale and spirit. Ask for some constructive feedback and keep going. Never give up. There is nothing to it but to do it, one contact at a time, one interview at a time. If you are made an offer, negotiate for your needs and requirements, again be reasonable and flexible. Accept or refuse any offer gracefully and respectfully in writing. Do not burn any bridges.</li>
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Looking for a job is a tough and stressful commitment. To be successful in today’s competitive job market, you need to think of yourself as a small business owner who is offering your core competencies and skills. Identify your potential employers and develop an effective business and marketing plan to sell your knowledge and services. Employers are seeking individuals who can be part of their solution and contribute their bottom line. You must be able to convince them that you can add value to their business. Look constantly for ways of matching your skills to solve the employer’s problems. View yourself as a solution-oriented entrepreneur by stating clearly what you can do to assist each potential employer. Your success depends on your ability to understand the employer’s wants and needs and convince him or her that you will be an asset who can fill the needs.</div>
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Your communication skills and your social intelligence determine your ability to communicate your competencies and sell your services, and persuade the potential employer to hire you. The advice outlined above have been used successfully in the past by myself and others. Depending on your own circumstances, you have to determine whether they are applicable to you and put them into practice accordingly. Incorporate some of the best job-hunting advice and suggestions in your own present situation. Good luck!</div>
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Kin Tue-Fee</div>
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Excerpt from my book: BECOME YOUR BEST. www.kintue-fee.com</div>
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Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-48910558366721784762014-03-30T10:54:00.000-07:002014-03-30T11:23:59.163-07:00Marriage Solution<div align="left" class="yiv3687907256MsoTitle" id="yui_3_13_0_1_1396200484895_2459" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 19px;">
<span id="yui_3_13_0_1_1396200484895_2458" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt;">Marriage Solution</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">There is no simple “formula” to a perfect marriage. Over the years, there are some trends and principles that can help us better understand what sets a loving and sustainable marriage apart from one that ends in separation or divorce. Positive and life-affirming relationships bring great pleasure, but unhealthy relationships can bring deep pain and sorrow. In order to make your marriage last and thrive, you need to ensure that mutual respect, honesty, trust and love are always present in your partnership. You need to show respect no matter what. Even in the heat of an argument, there should still be respect for partner. Don’t insult or degrade him or her. You have made a vow to support and love her in good and bad times. So practice your lifetime vows every day. Express grace and forgiveness after a heated argument and dispute. Reaffirm your love, and praise your mate’s strengths. Use words of affirmation to describe your mate to others. The more you and your partner focus on positive and successful common goals and grounds that you have achieved in your partnership so far, the more likely you’ll be happy in your relationship.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">It’s very important to understand the needs and wants of your partner. Most people have the same basic needs to be valued, respected and loved. For most women, they need to be listened to, cared for, and made to feel attractive and wanted. For most men, they need to feel that they are the leader of the household, and the provider and protector of the family. Obviously, they need the full support of their mate to assume this role. In order to understand and know the specific needs and wants of your partner in life, you have to ask him or her. There is no other way. Therefore, open and honest communication is essential. Poor communication leads to unhappy couples more than almost anything else.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">Bring your partner little gifts from time to time for no reason except that you love and are thinking of him or her. Respond romantically to your partner’s advances as much as possible. Regardless of age, sex is very important in a successful marriage. It may take different forms, and happens at different frequency. Talking openly about sex and finding a middle ground with regard to frequency is important for overall sexual and relationship satisfaction. Couples need to learn how to communicate about their sexual needs or their reasons for not wanting sex. The occasional headaches are normal, if they are real. Touch your partner often, whether it’s a kiss, holding hands or a hug. Another thing that works wonders for your sexual relationship is to do acts of service for your mate. Contribute happily to the household chores. Very simple thing like vacuuming the carpets is great, if you don’t usually do it. Preparing a nice breakfast for your partner and bringing it to bed on a Sunday morning is another good thing to do. Give your mate a relaxing and soothing massage when your partner is really physically tired. Your reward could blow your mind!</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">Discuss your financial issues in an open and honest fashion. Ensure that you both spend money and the family budget responsibly. Most importantly, inject and embrace fun and friendship in your couple’s relationship. Have fun and enjoyment together by going out for a dinner, a movie, on a weekend trip, on a week vacation, or a ten day cruise. Have quality time together whenever you can, not only on special occasions. In addition, maintain strong friendships outside your relationship. Various surveys show that happy couples have numerous friends and hobbies outside the relationship. They love to try new things on a regular basis, and have fun with their friends. The correlation between fun and marital happiness is high and very significant.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"> On the other hand, there are things to be avoided like a plague if you want your marriage to succeed and thrive. You should stop trying to change your partner to your liking. It’s mission impossible, and your marriage may well end in divorce. Stop nagging your mate constantly. Instead, talk openly and respectfully about your issues and disagreements. Don’t expect your partner to be able to read your mind. You need to speak up, but that does not mean harping on pointless issues or revisiting old resolved problems. You can debate and share your views, but never disrespect or insult your mate, especially in front of your children, loved ones or friends. Don’t focus only on your own interests and avoid doing things that your mate loves to do. Stop drowning in suspicion and jealousy, you need to trust your partner in life otherwise the relationship is going nowhere. Stop clinging on to unrealistic expectations, obsessing about the past, or worrying about future problems. Never tolerate your partner’s compulsions and addictions.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"> Of course, putting all the above into practice does not guarantee a successful and loving marriage. However you’ll have a much better chance of success for a lasting marriage solution. Take time to evaluate your relationship progress as a couple. Through dialogue and open communication, prevent, identify and resolve issues before they grow into huge problems. Work as a partnership to resolve the issues and problems. Focus on the problems, not on your partner. Try to put emotions to the side. However, if the discussions get heated and tempers rise, be carefully not to take the insults personally. Have the grace to forget your loved mate for words said in the heat of the moment. On the other hand, if you insulted your mate, be strong enough to apologize and ask for forgiveness.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"> Egos are hurt in heated discussions and disagreements. There will be inevitable frustrations and hurts. In some cases, it’s reasonable to give up on the discussions until you are both calmer and less exhausted. Understand the love languages and gifts that your mate enjoys the most. In these occasions, it would be good to make use them in the most effective way you can. The bottom line is there still need to be the existence of mutual respect, honesty, trust and love between you two. In brief, this is the “science” behind a solid and fulfilled marriage.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">Excerpt from my next book: Relationship Matters.</span><br />
www.kintue-fee.com</div>
Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-68519354350655551112013-12-26T09:07:00.001-08:002013-12-26T09:07:34.762-08:00Recovering and learning from your depression.<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<b><span lang="EN-US">Learning from my
depressions<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"> Suffice to say that I had two
depressions in my life so far. Once when my father passed away, and I felt
guilty that I could not make it in time for his funeral. In addition my
business was in financial difficulty, and I was comparing myself with my most successful friends. The second one happened more recently when I suffered
a burn-out at work just before my retirement which escaladed into anxiety and
depression. In both cases, I needed professional counseling from a psychologist.
It took about nine months for me to recover from my first depression, and much
longer about two and a half years to recover from my second one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Tms Rmn","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Tms Rmn"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"> So what did I learn
from my two depressions. First, I learn that depression can really hit anybody,
not only emotionally and mentally weak or dysfunctional people. It is not good
to be </span></span>too hard on
myself. By writing my thoughts on paper, I could clearly see how hard I was to
myself. In the future, I would definitely not compare myself with other people
who seem to be much better off than me. This always lead to a lose-lose
situation, which may result in depression. There should be no guilt and shame
in struggling with anxiety and depression. Would you feel guilty and ashamed if
you had cancer? Surely not, so why would you harbor guilt and shame just
because you suffer from anxiety and depression?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"> It’s alright to ask for help from
your loved ones, friends and professional health specialists, like
psychologists or psychiatrists. I needed understanding, support, time and space
to heal when I was coping with my anxiety and depression. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">In our society where the "pretense of happiness" is more
important than expressing negative feelings in healthy ways, we are taught to
conceal those feelings.</span><span lang="EN-US"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">When you conceal any emotion that you judge to be negative, you
can end up feeling isolated, alone, and even invisible to others. Don’t pretend
to be alright when you are not.</span><span lang="EN-US"> I was always authentic
with my loved ones, never hiding anything from them during both of my depressions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"> When I had my first depression, the
cognitive therapy, outlined in the book<b><i> FEELING GOOD</i></b> by David D. Burns MD was
a great help to me. The cognitive therapy I used consisted mainly about writing
my thoughts down. I saw that they were all extremely negative and distorted.
For example, I would write that I was the worst son ever for not attending my
father’s funeral. Or that I was the most incompetent executive in the federal
government because I did not met my boss expectations. During my second depression,
the same cognitive therapy was less effective. I had to take some
anti-depressant pills. My gratitude journal was very helpful. I used it to
write all my blessings, small and big ones. Writing in my gratitude journal had
the effect of changing my mood for the better. I also found that physical
exercises, especially yoga were most helpful to my recovery.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"> Being surrounded by loved ones and
close friends was essential to my recovery. Feeling understood and loved
without judgment was very crucial for me to cope with my anxiety and
depression. The healing process can be a very slow and frustrating process.
There will inevitably be ups and downs.
The bottom line is that nobody but myself could get me out of my apathy
and depression. I had to accept the fact that there was no point in blaming
somebody else for my depressed state. Taking responsibility for my state of
mind and knowing that I needed to make the necessary effort to slowly get
better was the first step to my recovery.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"> Nobody else can do the hard work for
you to get better. If you really want to overcome your anxiety and depression,
you need to ask for help but, more importantly, you need to help yourself! The
link below is a great resource in explaining what depression is, and providing
some great advice. Please seek help if you need it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.upworthy.com/what-is-depression-let-this-animation-with-a-dog-shed-light-on-it">http://www.upworthy.com/what-is-depression-let-this-animation-with-a-dog-shed-light-on-it</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"> As I came out very slowly from the
dark thick cloud of anxiety and depression, I became more fully available to my
loved ones, friends and my circle of influence. Slowly but surely, I
reconnected with everything and everybody close to me with deeper
understanding, empathy, humility and compassion. I thank God for the hope that
he left in me all along, even in my deepest sadness, doubt and yes, sometimes,
despair. I always learned from my experiences and grew stronger to become my
best in order to serve others better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Excerpt from my
updated book: <b><i>Become your best</i></b>, to be published in February 2014.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
www.kintue-fee.com</div>
Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-53664176469565320992013-12-07T04:11:00.000-08:002013-12-07T04:11:33.287-08:00The importance and power of visualization<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<b><span lang="EN-US">BEGIN WITH THE END RESULT
IN MIND</span></b><!--[if supportFields]><b style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'><span
lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>tc<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\l 2 "BEGIN WITH THE END RESULT IN
MIND"</span></b><![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><b style='mso-bidi-font-weight:
normal'><span lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span></span></b><![endif]--><b><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"> Before you look
forward to your end destination, you should consider your starting point. Right
now, what is your current situation?. At what stage of life are you in. What
are your current assets and strengths? What are your liabilities and
weaknesses? Spend some time conducting an inventory of your strengths and
weaknesses, assets and liabilities, and likes and dislikes. Determine what are
your core values and priorities, and what are really important to you. Have a
good handle on where you stand right now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"> If you had your
life to live over again what would you do differently. What do you think you
could do about it? What is the biggest mistake you have made so far? What would
you change? These are questions you can ask yourself when you want to reexamine
yourself in terms of your life situation. Be fair and honest, as fair with
yourself as you would be with somebody else. What is your purpose and goals in life?
This is a fundamental question that most people ask themselves at one time or
another. If you think I have the answer for you, you are wrong. You have the
answer. We all have the answer within each one of us. For those of you who have
not yet found your purpose in life, I can guide you in your search for it by
beginning with the end result in mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"> To begin with the
end result in mind means you need to have a clear and precise understanding of
your destination. Find a quiet place where you can relax, be alone and
uninterrupted when you are concentrating on the following exercise. You need a
piece of paper to write your honest impressions, feelings and visualizations.
Take your time to do this visualization exercise. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 144.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm 36.0pt 72.0pt 108.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -144.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"> <b><u>Exercise:</u> </b>Visualize yourself at
your own funeral after a long, happy and fulfilled life. Assume that you have
lived your life to your full potential.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 144.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm 36.0pt 72.0pt 108.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -144.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"> Your
family, friends and colleagues have come to honour you, to express feelings of
love and appreciation for your life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 144.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm 36.0pt 72.0pt 108.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -144.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"> Think
deeply and write down the epitaphs and eulogies you would like each of the
following speakers to say about you and your life:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 180.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm 36.0pt 72.0pt 108.0pt 144.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -180.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"> 1. Members of your immediate family: your
spouse, children and siblings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 180.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm 36.0pt 72.0pt 108.0pt 144.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -180.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"> 2. Your best friend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 180.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm 36.0pt 72.0pt 108.0pt 144.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -180.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"> 3. A member of your profession you admire.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 180.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm 36.0pt 72.0pt 108.0pt 144.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -180.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"> 4. A member of your church and/or
community you respect.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"> Try to imagine what
these people would say about you in your various roles. What would you be
remembered for? How did you touch and influence their lives? What contributions
did you make to your family, friends, profession and community? Write down what
you would like to be said of you at the end of your life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"> You can repeat this
exercise until you are pretty sure that you have identified your inner sources
of identity such as your beliefs, values and primary characteristics. This visualization
exercise will help you identify the core beliefs and values that are most
important to you, for example: happiness, love, good health, honesty, peace of
mind, spirituality, gratitude, simplicity, beauty, respect, integrity, joy,
trust, understanding, fairness, hard work, recognition, professionalism,
service to others and caring relationship. Aside from making you face your own
mortality, this exercise guides you in discovering your roles and goals in
life. It is necessary to reassess your different roles in life as time goes on
in order to take into account your personal sense of balance and significant
emotional events. Regular self-examination forms part of life's journey and
plays a major role in awareness, insight and wisdom. <b>In my opinion, this visualization exercise is one of the most insightful
and impactful tools that you can use to guide you to live a meaningful,
purposeful and fulfilled life.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<b><span lang="EN-US">Excerpt from my book:
Become your best.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Tms Rmn","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Tms Rmn"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">www.kintue-fee.com</span></b>Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-78640545411103781022013-11-24T09:47:00.002-08:002013-11-24T09:47:57.640-08:00Living in single splendour<div align="left" class="MsoTitle">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt;">LIVING IN SINGLE SPLENDOUR<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoTitle">
<br /></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoTitle">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"> Being single is not always easy. Yet
we all know of single people who are socially, emotionally and financially
secure and living their lives fully. More and more young and mature adults are
choosing to be single rather than to get involved in a committed relationship.
From the most recent <st1:country-region w:st="on">U.S.</st1:country-region>
census data at the time of my research in 2010, there are nearly 90 million
unmarried Americans – a whopping 41 percent of all American adults in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">USA</st1:place></st1:country-region>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB">Living alone has lots
of challenges too. If you are not careful, you can easily fall into a rut which
can potentially lead to solitude, loneliness and even depression. Yet living
alone can also lead to a more meaningful relationship with yourself<span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;">.</span> You have the chance to
spend more time with yourself. You
have more opportunities to discover
yourself through self analysis and reflection, thus nurturing the “Me”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB">Thanks to social
media, people have a tremendous choice at their finger tip. They have so many
people coming into their life through daily interactions and social media that
it’s difficult to build deep intimate relationship. More and more young people
choose to stay single, not willing to settle for an “average” partner in life.
They look at other couples around them and see that things are not that great
with their relationships. That doesn’t mean that they shut off the possibility of living in partnership with
someone else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB">Most young people
like guys who are responsible, confident and reliable, but more importantly
they must be “cool”. Going solo is the new “cool” lifestyle. Living alone is
being celebrated in most western countries. In Sweden, sixty per cent of the
population live in single splendour.
Individuality is actively promoted in this country. People there are a bit
disillusion by the institution of marriage. Society is moving towards valuing
individuality and developing policies for the individuals, rather than
focussing on the virtues of the family. The world seems to be shifting from We
to Me. And lots of young adults are embracing the single lifestyle as a
preference.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoTitle" style="text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">There
are many reasons, why they choose to be single. Some have made their minds
early on because they have seen their parents quarrelling all the time and gone
through an ugly divorce. They know of friends living in partnership separating
after ugly fights. Others have gone through one or more deceptions in their
intimate relationships, and have decided that they have had enough of
heartbreaks. Others are still looking for partners but are not lucky enough to
find the right ones. Yet others have gone through one relationship to another
many times over in search for the elusive goal of fulfillment without finding
it. They may have been disillusioned again and again. They are now avoiding
relationships altogether in an attempt to avoid more disillusion and pain. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoTitle">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"> It is safe to say that most men and
women want to have an intimate and meaningful relationship with a partner. They
are hoping to meet the right partner in life. However, most single adults would
rather be alone than to be in an unhealthy relationship. They would rather be
single than settle for a mediocre relationship just to escape loneliness. Most
educated single adults have raised the bar. It is not about just sexual
attraction or financial security. It is more about finding compatibility, soul
mate and real love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoTitle">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"> The legendary TV series, Sex in the
City, and other multi-media entertainment glorify the glamour and excitement of
single lifestyle. They promote the freedom and thrill of meeting other
beautiful and fashionable people usually with plenty of money to spend. In
reality, life is much more routine and boring than the glamour of TV series and
soap operas. More often, being single means eating pizza or drinking a can of
soup alone in front of the TV. Very often, single adults have to face nosy
questions about their marital status, especially when the biological clock is
ticking for women. The whole emphasis in our culture seems to be that it’s
almost unnatural or a sin to be single.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoTitle">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"> Singleness can also be a choice, a
state of mind, and an attitude. Many people who have gone through a few or many
relationships decide to remain single and live on their own. They have either
given up on their search of a life partner or they are just content to being
single. They manage to live alone and like it. They still have friends and
enjoy their lives to the full. Are you one of them? Bravo! If you are happily
married like me, even better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoTitle">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoTitle">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">Excerpt
from my book: Become your best, 2014 Version. To be published January 2014.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Tms Rmn","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Tms Rmn"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">www.kintue-fee.com </span>Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-75147357166917410182013-11-16T17:32:00.000-08:002013-11-16T17:32:10.393-08:00Enjoy your social life<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm decimal 36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<b><span lang="EN-US">ENJOY YOUR SOCIAL LIFE</span></b><!--[if supportFields]><b
style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'><span lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:
field-begin'></span>tc<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\l 2 "ENJOY
YOUR SOCIAL LIFE"</span></b><![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><b
style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'><span lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:
field-end'></span></span></b><![endif]--><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm decimal 36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt decimal 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"> Social life is an
important aspect of living which you enjoy with your family and friends. Social
events like parties, community activities and visiting friends are expressions
of the joy of being together and of human fellowship. With experience you
acquire some social skills which facilitate relationship, friendship and
rapport. These positive social skills can also be learned and reinforced. By
the same token, you can unlearn poor behaviour, thus avoiding inappropriate social
skills. There are very few people who would not benefit from some improvement
in their social skills and behaviour. The beauty of learning and practising
these skills is that you are rewarded with smiles, respect and friendship. You
can be as creative as you want with your social activities. Making friends,
getting involved in community activities and projects, joining a club and
playing sports are all social activities you can enjoy and choose to
participate in. All these activities require human contact and interaction with
other people. In any interaction you form part of the other person's current
learning experience and you can learn from him or her too. The more you improve
your social skills, the more effective you become in society.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt decimal 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"> To interact socially,
you have to be able to hold interesting conversations and to exchange views and
opinions on numerous current topics. It helps if you keep yourself acquainted
and up-to-date with national and international issues, with your favourite
sports and hobbies, and with popular entertainments. You don't, have to show
your in-depth knowledge at every opportunity but only to be conversant of the
topic of discussion. To develop positive social skills, you have to be
interested in a variety of things, be inclined to genuinely like people and be
generally pleasant and agreeable. You need to have an alert interest in people
and a fondness for their company. Participate in social activities, rather than
being just an inactive observer. If you have any knowledge, skill or talent
that can benefit your social circle, volunteer your services at your
convenience. It will be greatly appreciated and you will be warmly welcomed in
your social group. For instance, if you are a good soccer player, be a soccer
coach for the kids in your community. By helping others, there are more chances
that one day you will be helped by others in your time of need.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt decimal 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"> Society is open to
everyone and you are welcome to join the club. How effective a member of the
club you are depends on your attitude and your willingness to participate and
to contribute. The more you enjoy interacting with others in a social setting,
the more others will seek your company. If you are a relaxed, fun, responsible
and positive person, you will attract a lot of friends almost effortlessly. Here
are some suggestions to help you get the most out of your social life:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm decimal 36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm; text-align: justify; text-indent: -36.0pt;">
<!--[if supportFields]><span lang=EN-US><span
style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>SYMBOL 159<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\f "Wingdings"</span><![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><span
lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span></span><![endif]--><span lang="EN-US"> Have a genuine liking
for people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm; text-align: justify; text-indent: -36.0pt;">
<!--[if supportFields]><span lang=EN-US><span
style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>SYMBOL 159<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\f "Wingdings"</span><![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><span
lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span></span><![endif]--><span lang="EN-US"> Associate with
positive and confident friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if supportFields]><span lang=EN-US><span
style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>SYMBOL 159<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\f "Wingdings"</span><![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><span
lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span></span><![endif]--><span lang="EN-US"> Develop a network of
professional colleagues, associates and acquaintances.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm; text-align: justify; text-indent: -36.0pt;">
<!--[if supportFields]><span lang=EN-US><span
style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>SYMBOL 159<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\f "Wingdings"</span><![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><span
lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span></span><![endif]--><span lang="EN-US"> Entertain only the
people you want to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm; text-align: justify; text-indent: -36.0pt;">
<!--[if supportFields]><span lang=EN-US><span
style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>SYMBOL 159<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\f "Wingdings"</span><![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><span
lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span></span><![endif]--><span lang="EN-US"> Have interesting and
challenging hobbies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if supportFields]><span lang=EN-US><span
style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>SYMBOL 159<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\f "Wingdings"</span><![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><span
lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span></span><![endif]--><span lang="EN-US"> Get informed on
national and international news and current affairs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm; text-align: justify; text-indent: -36.0pt;">
<!--[if supportFields]><span lang=EN-US><span
style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>SYMBOL 159<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\f "Wingdings"</span><![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><span
lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span></span><![endif]--><span lang="EN-US"> Provide service to
the community.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm; text-align: justify; text-indent: -36.0pt;">
<!--[if supportFields]><span lang=EN-US><span
style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>SYMBOL 159<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\f "Wingdings"</span><![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><span
lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span></span><![endif]--><span lang="EN-US"> Do volunteer work and
give assistance to the needy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm; text-align: justify; text-indent: -36.0pt;">
<!--[if supportFields]><span lang=EN-US><span
style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>SYMBOL 159<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\f "Wingdings"</span><![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><span
lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span></span><![endif]--><span lang="EN-US"> Be politically aware
and active.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm; text-align: justify; text-indent: -36.0pt;">
<!--[if supportFields]><span lang=EN-US><span
style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>SYMBOL 159<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\f "Wingdings"</span><![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><span
lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span></span><![endif]--><span lang="EN-US"> Be generally
pleasant, agreeable and non-critical.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; tab-stops: -36.0pt 0cm; text-align: justify; text-indent: -36.0pt;">
<!--[if supportFields]><span lang=EN-US><span
style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>SYMBOL 159<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\f "Wingdings"</span><![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><span
lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span></span><![endif]--><span lang="EN-US"> Develop some cultural
interests in the world of arts, theatre, films, books etc.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"> The cultivation of
genuine friendship is an art that most people pay little attention to. It does
not happen by accident. You start by looking for people with common interests
who share the same basic values. Friendship has a chance to develop when you
interact with these people. Instinctively, you appreciate and enjoy the company
of some people more than others. You tend to admire some of their qualities.
The main ingredients of these relationships are mutual feelings of rapport,
respect, understanding and trust. By nurturing the friendship, you start to
have a sense of each other's beliefs, needs and aspirations. As your rapport
and bond develops, you are able to fill some of each other's needs. Although
friends can ask each other favours from time to time, you should be very
careful not to take advantage of your friendship by being a burden to your
friends. Rather than imposing on them, enjoy your precious time together with
your friends, letting the social interaction rejuvenate you. Lifelong
friendship exists when you encourage and support each other's fulfillment in
any way you can and when you feel free to express your feelings openly to each
other. In your times of need, your friends will be there supporting you and in
your times of joy they will be there rejoicing with you. They don't envy your
success, they are happy for your achievements. All they wish for you is that you
continue to be yourself, to grow and develop. They enrich the quality of your
social life by participating in stimulating activities with you and vice versa.
It is not how many people you know that counts, it is how many people you can
genuinely call lifetime friends that is really important.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US">Excerpt from my book: Become your best.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US">www.kintue-fee.com</span></div>
Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-21077852867112917282013-11-04T09:00:00.001-08:002013-11-15T17:41:32.137-08:00Nurture your personal growth<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<b><span lang="EN-US">NURTURE YOUR PERSONAL
GROWTH</span></b><!--[if supportFields]><b style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'><span
lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>tc<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\l 2 "NURTURE YOUR PERSONAL GROWTH"</span></b><![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><b
style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'><span lang=EN-US><span style='mso-element:
field-end'></span></span></b><![endif]--><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"> The journey through
life is a creative process during which we grow, change, learn, contribute and
love. From birth to death, we are learning about ourselves, discovering our
identity, and contributing to society. Through these life experiences and
personal growth, we strive to become our personal best. The road to genuine
personal growth is in the nurturing of our inner self and our personal growth.
We develop a sense of personal value and worth, and the enjoyment of loving and
being loved. We become strong, self-reliant and able to take charge of our
life. We live our lives purposefully and with integrity in accordance with our
belief and value systems. We cultivate and enhance our compassion, affection,
forgiveness and empathy for ourselves and others. The most precious gifts we
can give to ourselves and others are the gifts of caring and love. The journey
towards personal growth helps us to be master of our own life whilst remaining
flexible and open to new opportunities.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"> As you embark on
your quest to personal self-actualization, you will become more positive,
serene, self-confident and assertive. You will naturally start to take care of
yourself, nurturing your body, mind and spirit. You will find that money,
friends and good relationships will be attracted to you without you really
trying very hard. You will not be satisfied by merely surviving, getting by and
making a living. You will be shaping and designing your destiny. When you feel
at peace and in harmony with yourself, you will automatically start to have
better relationships with other people. As you progressively feel good about
yourself, knowing your life is worth living and is meaningful, you will feel
better about others. You will engage in meaningful relationships and activities
that enhance the quality of your life and those of others. As you progress
along your journey, you start to know what really matters to you. You have a
clear vision of how you want to lead your life. You can refine your sense of
purpose and you have a feeling of being in control of your life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"> Genuine love casts
out all fears and gives the courage to live abundantly. Reflection on the
expression of love in your life is a key step in your personal growth. This is
time well spent. Always strive to give of yourself and you become your best
along the way. Once you have sought and achieved some degree of
self-enhancement in your life, it will inspire and motivate you to continue on
your path. You become proactive and you make things happen. You respond
positively to all situations based on basic principles such as fairness,
integrity, trust and honesty. You understand that you are responsible for your
attitudes, feelings, thoughts and actions. You become more balanced, organized
and focused. You realize that the respectful way you treat people is how you
want them to treat you. Your loving thoughts and creative actions will lead you
to your self-fulfillment.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
Undertaking a
personal growth journey is a long and challenging path. It requires time,
patience, compassion and commitment. It puts a new and positive perspective in
your present and future endeavour. Sure you will encounter opposition,
disapproval, growing pains and obstacles along the way. Significant advances in
your development as an individual come when you encounter pressure, fear and
pain, and you face and surmount them. You understand that the obstacle has been
put in your path for the purpose of your growth. In your quest of doing
anything at all better than before and of improving yourself, don't forget to be
your best friend. In order to achieve some kind of fulfillment, you need to
repeatedly remind yourself that you can control your thoughts, feelings and
actions. Have the discipline to be in charge of yourself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"> As your
self-discovery journey progresses, you will attract positive people who wish
you well, rather than put you down. You will gain more self-respect,
self-esteem and self-confidence. You will start to visualize bigger goals and
greater projects than you have ever attempted before. You will also realize
that it's not just achieving goals that matters, but more importantly, it's the
quality of life you experience along the way that is crucial to your growth and
fulfillment. By applying some of the principles described in my book you will
become more creative and proactive in your choices and decisions. Your purpose
in life will inevitably become clearer to you. You will want to be of service
to others and will receive the joy of giving. You will help people for the
right reason and with the proper actions. By putting a little effort in the
right direction at the right time, you will slowly but surely be able to alter
your life and the lives of others for the better. You will begin to live a more
abundant life filled with more and more gratitude, contentment, inner peace and
happiness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"> You owe it to
yourself to explore your potential to become your best. The choice is yours to
make. In case you decide to take the path of self-management and
self-development, don't miss the joy of being. Celebrate the joy of life, as a
result you will be rewarded by becoming the best possible you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US">Excerpt from my book: Become Your Best.</span></div>
Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-62694042946792656582010-10-14T06:56:00.000-07:002010-10-14T07:11:23.303-07:00Self-esteem and Serving OthersI am reading a book: Perfectly Yourself - Lessons for enduring happiness by Matthew Kelly. I recommend this book for anybody who wants to enhance their self-esteem and happiness.<br /><br />In his book, Matthew Kelly says:<br /><br />"Self-esteem is essential to enduring happiness. Service is the surest way to build a healthy sense of self."<br /><br />"Having self-esteem and making a contribution are directly linked to each other."<br /><br />Albert Schwietzer also said: "I am certain of one thing. The only ones among us who will ever be truly happy are those of us who have sought and found a way to serve"<br /><br />So examine your lives and see what you are contributing to your family, friends, community, work, charitable organizations, etc. Ask yourself: what are my talents and gifts, and how can I serve others? By focusing on what you are here to give, you will inevitably receive a healthy self-esteem, and may be enduring happiness too.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.kintue-fee.com/">http://www.kintue-fee.com/</a>Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-46454566179077542862010-10-02T06:23:00.000-07:002010-10-02T06:26:16.627-07:00Creating the life you wantCreating the life you want<br /><br />If you are planning for a long trip and vacation, you want to have a road map and look at places you want to visit and stay. A lot of people spend more time planning their annual vacation than they spend planning for their life. Life is a journey too. So you need a road map to get to your destination. Do you have your road map?<br /><br />Most of us want to live a successful and fulfilled life but we don’t have a well thought-out plan to get there. To create the life you want, you need to ask yourself some important questions, and be willing to take the time to answer them to your satisfaction. What does success and fulfilment mean for you? What matters most to you: family, partner in life, relationships, work/career, health, spirituality, etc? What are your goals and priorities in your life? What are your core values and beliefs?<br /><br />If you long to live a more authentic successful and fulfilled life, you need to reflect on your values and beliefs. If you live your life in alignment with your core values, beliefs, priorities and goals, the life you are meant to live tends to unfold before your eyes.<br /><br />Once you really understand what do you want out of life, then you can start planning for it. Determine what are the actions you need to take and the changes you need to make to accomplish your goals in life. Your detailed action plans and strategies are an important part of your road maps to success and fulfilment.<br /><br />Have a positive mental attitude and confidence that you can indeed create the life you want. Along with some successes, there will inevitably be some set-backs. Believe in yourself and persevere. Don’t forget to be grateful for all the small successes along the way, and celebrate them with your loved ones.<br /><br />www.kintue-fee.comKin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-16051526730958733012010-09-11T07:25:00.000-07:002013-11-15T17:44:47.456-08:00Taking time-out to rejuvenateAll of us need to take time-out to rejuvenate if we want to lead a successful and fulfilling life. It may be as simple as taking a walk in the park or just lying in the sun. It may be listening to music or reading a book. It may be taking time to meditate or to pray. It may be going to exercise in the gym. It may be slipping into a hot soothing bath after a stressful day. It may be going to the spa for a sauna or massage. It may be having a celebration dinner with your loved ones. It may be more elaborate as taking a two week vacation to a exclusive resort or on a big cruise ship. You may even decide to take one year maternity leave or a sabbatical from your work.<br />
<br />
Whenever you feel overwhelmed by the pressures of work and stresses of your personal life, you need to take a break to rejuvenate yourself. In this fast changing environment, you can feel pulled in all directions with different demands. In these tough economic times, it’s very important to look after your well-being, and your physical, emotional and mental health. Taking time-out for yourself gives you the opportunity to refresh, re-energize and rejuvenate so that you are ready again to face the stressful demands from your work and personal life. Taking regular time-out to rejuvenate enables you to thrive as an individual and lead a successful and fulfilling life.<br />
<br />
www.kintue-fee.comKin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-6651994912390296792010-09-05T12:50:00.000-07:002010-09-05T12:54:30.354-07:00Quest to become our bestPeople of all ages, countries and cultures are driven to become their best and to make the most of their potential.<br /><br />For some people this quest is associated with a desire for more money and financial security. For others, it may be seeking the ideal partner in life and fulfilling relationships. For some, it's the need for a satisfying job or more fulfillment in their workplace. Others want to change their communities and the world for the better.<br /><br />This quest is really a desire to make the most of your potential and become more perfectly yourself. It can be expressed in different ways but ultimately it is a quest for personal growth and development.<br /><br />If you are interested in learning more about personal growth and development, check out my blog on my website: www.kintue-fee.comKin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-17308624282461150992010-08-21T07:33:00.000-07:002010-08-21T07:36:37.139-07:00Stretching beyond your comfort zoneBuilding self-confidence requires that you stretch beyond where you have been before. As you do this, your confidence about being able to take on new challenges increases. Self-confidence gives you the ability to set smart goals and to overcome obstacles and fear.<br /><br />Leaving your comfort zone means moving into unfamiliar terrain and facing uncertainty. You need to transform these fears into focused thinking and action. By taking decisive actions and sometimes even learning from your mistakes, you grow and enhance your confidence.<br /><br />If you feel stuck in a comfort trap, it's time to set some new goals. Setting and achieving your goals boosts your confidence and leads you to pursue greater challenges.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.kintue-fee.com/">www.kintue-fee.com</a>Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-7031544464820346862010-08-15T08:48:00.000-07:002010-08-15T08:51:11.237-07:00Dealing with self-doubtsMost of us struggle with self-doubt at one point or the other. In my opinion, what makes the difference between success and failure is not whether we have self-doubts, but what we do when the doubts creep in.<br /><br />What I do is I go back to my two solid foundations: Positive Mental Attitude and Health Self-esteem. I accept my thoughts about the self-doubts, and reformat them in a more positive way i.e. as an opportunity to test myself and my capacity to move forward knowing that there may be obstacles along the way.<br /><br />What works for me is taking decisive action, either abandon the idea as being unrealistic for the moment or going ahead facing my doubts and fears squarely.<br /><br />Taking decisive actions and learning from our mistakes and successes also build your self-confidence.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.kintue-fee.com/">www.kintue-fee.com</a>Kin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-67352294322480492892010-07-30T18:11:00.000-07:002010-07-30T18:12:18.424-07:00Put the extra effortWhat do you think will happen to you and your self-esteem if you always do your best and more in everything you do? Most likely you will feel good about yourself. If you constantly put an extra effort in whatever you undertake. You will reap rewards in the form of recognition, promotions, friends, pride in your work, self-satisfaction and gratitude. If you sow only positive thoughts in your mind, you are bound to reap a harvest of abundance, success and satisfaction.<br /> The stretch and extra effort will do you good and will build your self-confidence. You will be stretching yourself in a way that is beneficial for you when you walk that extra mile, when you put out that little extra effort, when you hang in there just a little longer. The more you reach out by extending yourself, the more you will grow and the more people you will influence with positive results. The following are some ideas for extending yourself which are good exercises for the mind and spirit:<br /><br />1. Be extra nice to at least one person everyday.<br />2. Work a little longer than you have to at the factory, farm, shop or office.<br />3. Go out of your way to help someone regularly.<br />4. Volunteer to do something for others or some charitable organizations, without expecting anything in return.<br />5. Be extra understanding and loving to your family, parents and friends.<br />6. Put in a little more time to educate yourself.<br />7. Give a little gift to someone for no special reason.<br />8. Extend a welcome hand to a new neighbour, colleague or acquaintance.<br />9. Visit someone who is sick or in need of someone to talk to.<br />10. Phone someone you have been thinking about for a long time.<br />11. Compliment someone for his or her clothes, hair, smile, work, effort, patience, skills, etc.<br />12. Send loving thoughts through space for others to connect to.<br /><br /> There are many other ways in which you can walk the extra distance in life. Practise some of these on a regular basis. You can choose which way you wish to put in the extra effort that best suits your circumstances. It may stretch your comfort zone and sometimes you may not even be appreciated. When you put the extra effort, don't expect immediate results. Be willing to assume greater responsibilities. Strive to deliver high quality products, goods and services at all times. You can literally set your own salary by the quality of your work.<br /> Be generous with your smiles and praises to others. People who consistently put the extra effort in their work as well as in their personal life command attention and respect. Inevitably their efforts are recognized and they reap the rewards of their labour. I urge you to put the extra effort when you are playing and laughing with your children, when you are romancing your spouse, when you are educating yourself, and when you are working on your plans for your major goals. By making the extra effort throughout your life's journey, the outcome of your endeavours will amaze you. Whatever you sow, you will reap!<br /><br />Extract from my book: Become your best<br />www.kintue-fee.comKin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-52272028882668903892010-07-11T15:34:00.000-07:002010-07-11T15:35:32.855-07:00Volunteer your time and serviceVOLUNTEER YOUR TIME AND SERVICE<br /><br />One of the most rewarding commitments you can make is to volunteer your time and services to your family, your friends, your community, a charity or an organization of your choice. Volunteering is rewarding for everyone who is involved. The minute you choose to volunteer, you set ripples in motion. By helping a person in need, a charitable organization, working for a worthwhile cause, you are giving something back to society. The payoff for you, the volunteer, comes when you do get the warm feeling that you made a difference in someone's life which means that you have ,in fact, made a difference in your own life.<br />There is always an abundance of work to be done. Contribute in whatever way you can, beginning where you are and looking for what needs to be done. Give some time and assistance to your fellow man. You decide the amount of time and the kind of service you want to provide. Make an effort to help and serve others in some small way every day. You can experience great joy and a sense of accomplishment in your service to others without having to feel egotistic about it. Being there for others when they need you is one of the most loving choices you can make. You are rewarded by knowing that you are making a difference in your sphere of influence. While you are helping others in need, you are also helping yourself. It is only by caring very much for your life that you will be able to care for the lives of others. By giving the gifts of affection and caring, you will be receiving an abundance of joy, appreciation and love. When you help people better themselves, there is no question that you better yourself along the way.<br />There is no shortage of volunteer agencies who could use your help. You can help out in seniors' homes, hospitals, children's groups, libraries, secular or religious service organizations, community service and charitable organizations. Sometimes the number of organized volunteer groups seems so overwhelming that you might experience some difficulty in making a choice. You may even ask how a single person like yourself can contribute to make a difference. A simple solution is to give some of your time, money and skills to help just one person, a child or a family. You may decide to make up your own projects by yourself or with the help of some friends. Make sure your help is welcomed first and ask how you can be of best help. Do not assume that your actions and interventions are always necessary and are in the best interest of those concerned. When you perform an act of kindness to someone, telling him or her something kind and encouraging, you feel good about it and that should be your sole reward. The receiving person sometimes remembers it for the rest of his or her life. It is not that you would expect the person you helped to have gratitude but very often he or she does. If the recipient of your kindness insists on paying you back you could ask him or her to return the favour to somebody else.<br /><br />Extract from my book: Become your best<br />www.kintue-fee.comKin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-83215010791670344512010-06-29T16:11:00.000-07:002010-06-29T16:12:10.143-07:00Be ready and willing to learnBE READY AND WILLING TO LEARN<br /><br /> The most important and effective type of learning is one that is self-motivated. The knowledge and skills you acquire through education by your choice and effort are yours for life. Nobody can steal them from you. The mastery of a skill or a subject and the wisdom to use it are exquisitely satisfying. Learning is the continuous process of becoming who you are. Every time you learn something new, you change and grow as a person. From your birth to your death, you learn countless skills which you use and perform daily and automatically. You learn to walk, to talk, to read, to think critically, to get along with other people, to be creative, to cook, to drive and to run a business. Learning to make decisions and solve problems are competencies you need to develop throughout your life. Your effectiveness as a human being and your stature as a person have a direct relationship on the number of skills you have mastered and that you use daily in your job and in your life.<br /> The key to work in the future and to remain marketable will be up-to-date skills, knowledge and information. In the next decade, we are going to be swamped by the tidal wave of technology. Nearly half the jobs created will require post-secondary education and computer literacy. For most people just to get a job they want will require between 15 to 20 years of formal education. By contrast, the number of jobs requiring less than a high school education is rapidly declining. Everybody understands the importance of education, training and skill development. If you want to have a good paying job and improve your standard of living, you need to be ready and willing to learn and adapt to the reality of the marketplace. Take full responsibility to seek every opportunity to further your education, to strengthen your areas of weakness through appropriate training and to focus your energy on marketable skills.<br /> The admission of your ignorance is the first step in improving your education. Pretending to have knowledge of a subject is far worse than admitting your ignorance and being willing to learn it. Don't hesitate to ask questions even at the risk of revealing your ignorance. It's the best and most direct way of learning and growing. Always start by revealing to your teacher at what level of knowledge or skill you are at. If you want to learn how to use the computer or how to access the internet, admit your ignorance or let your teacher know what level you are at. It is impossible to bypass and shortcut the learning process. Many people are tempted to seek a shortcut to the learning process. Most of the time, this will result in frustration and confusion. If you are just starting to play tennis, it makes no sense for you to start lessons at the advanced level right away. In any area of self-improvement, you have to be willing to take one step at a time, be patient and put in the necessary effort and discipline.<br /> If you did not have, or missed the opportunity for, a good education, you can still learn many things and skills you need to have a meaningful and productive life. Apart from the formal education system, you should also be ready and willing to learn from everyone and anyone. In any interaction, the other person forms part of your current learning experience and vice versa. When you are truly ready the teachers will appear. Reach out and find the right people with the right resources to help you. Prepare yourself and understand that there is no shortcut in the learning process. There is always some room for new input and for improvement. Every person you encounter in your lifetime has the potential to teach you something. If your outlook on life is positive, you will have a high level of readiness to learn and to grow. As a student you know that everyone is in some way your teacher and has something to offer you. Once you are ready and willing, you will find teachers everywhere. A wise teacher leads you to the threshold of your own mind and potential. <br /> If you come upon something which or someone who could show you a better way to live, be ready and willing to learn. Your teacher might be a book, a motivational tape, a magazine article, a friend, a religious leader, a child, a thought that is there accidentally at the right time and place. Sometimes you have to seek the teachers and the resources too. Some of these resources include further education such as vocational courses, workshops, seminars, colleges or universities. You can also acquire and develop new, complex social skills by studying successful role models. It helps to observe and learn from others who are doing what you would like to do or who have qualities that you desire. Be humble so that you can accept and acquire the wisdom and understanding of others. Learn to listen, to evaluate and to use the wisdom, experience and expertise of others. Try to break up complicated concepts and problems into simpler units that you can understand and master. Realize that everyone had to learn from someone else.<br /><br />Extract from my book: Become your best.<br />www.kintue-fee.comKin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-84500921837472290142010-06-19T12:51:00.000-07:002010-06-19T12:52:39.261-07:00Begin with the end result in mindBEGIN WITH THE END RESULT IN MIND<br /><br /> Stephen Covey talked about beginning with the end result in his bestselling book: Seven habits of highly effective people. Here is a practical and powerful way of how you can envision your own successful end result in your mind, and let it guide you to a purposeful and fulfilled life.<br /><br /> If you had your life to live over again what would you do differently? What do you think you could do about it? What is the biggest mistake you have made so far? What would you change? These are questions you can ask yourself when you want to reexamine yourself in terms of your life situation. Be fair and honest, as fair with yourself as you would be with somebody else. What is your purpose and goals in life? This is a fundamental question that most people ask themselves at one time or another. If you think I have the answer for you, you are wrong. You have the answer. We all have the answer within each one of us. For those of you who have not yet found your purpose in life, I can guide you in your search for it by beginning with the end result in mind.<br /> To begin with the end result in mind means you need to have a clear and precise understanding of your destination. Find a quiet place where you can relax, be alone and uninterrupted when you are concentrating on the following exercise. You need a piece of paper to write your honest impressions, feelings and visualizations. Take your time to do this exercise. If you are impatient to read this book then go ahead but come back to this exercise and give it the time and consideration it deserves.<br /><br /> Exercise Visualize yourself at your own funeral after a long, happy and fulfilled life. Assume that you have lived your life to your full potential.<br /> Your family, friends and colleagues have come to honour you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life.<br /> Think deeply and write down the epitaphs and eulogies you would like each of the following speakers to say about you and your life:<br /><br /> 1. Members of your immediate family: your spouse, children and siblings.<br /> <br /> 2. One of your best friends.<br /><br /> 3. A colleague or member of your profession.<br /><br /> 4. A member of your church and/or community.<br /><br /> Try to imagine what these people would say about you in your various roles. What would you be remembered for? How did you touch and influence their lives? What contributions did you make to your family, friends, profession and community? Write down what you would like to be said of you at the end of your life.<br /> You can repeat this exercise until you are pretty sure that you have identified your inner sources of identity such as beliefs, values and primary characteristics. This exercise will help you identify the core values that are most important to you, for example: happiness, love, good health, honesty, peace of mind, spirituality, gratitude, simplicity, beauty, respect, integrity, joy, trust, understanding, fairness, hard work, recognition, professionalism, service to others and caring relationships. Aside from making you face your own mortality, this exercise guides you in discovering your roles and goals in life. It is necessary to reassess your different roles in life as time goes on in order to take into account your personal sense of balance and significant emotional events. Regular self-examination forms part of life's journey and plays a major role in awareness, insight and wisdom.<br /><br />Extract from my book: Become your best.<br />www.kintue-fee.comKin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5561263621765058681.post-68751216767872616922010-05-30T08:07:00.000-07:002010-05-30T08:15:30.439-07:00Choosing your partner in lifeChoosing your partner in life is certainly one of the most important decisions you have taken or you will be taking.<br />So how did you go about or how will you go about looking for your partner in life? Is it a matter of luck or a deliberate choice?<br />What qualities do you look for in your partner in life? What do you expect from your partner in life?<br />In my case, I started to look for my partner in life after I finished my university education and was already working full-time. I needed to be capable of earning a good living before looking for a partner. I believe then I was restricted by time, geography and my limited network of friends and acquaintances. At that time, I was a young debonair naval architect, 26 years old, living in Glasgow, Scotland. All the girls I could meet were either in Glasgow, or in London, UK where I spent most of my holidays. During the period when I was 26-29, I had 3 - 4 intimate relationships with potential life partners, all had physical and personality traits that attracted me. My goal to to be married before age 30.<br />I made my final choice really instinctively based on how comfortable I felt when I was with her. Also her values and beliefs were compatible with mine. Most importantly, she was very natural - minimal make -up, with a beautiful face and smile, and with kind eyes. After 31 years together, I still recognize these same traits every time I look at her. More importantly, we have stood side by side in good and bad times. We have 3 lovely young adults as children, and we share a long history of building our family together. I do not expect my partner to make me happy. I am already happy and contented in life. I expect and have love, respect and trust from her. In return, she expects and has no less from me.<br /><br />www.kintue-fee.comKin Tue-Feehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05725081360838201144noreply@blogger.com2